Unfortunately, due to persistent abuse, we've had to suspend this site's survey feature. It's a bit of a shame, but if some
internet sad case is going to insist on voting for the same option hundreds of times, we're clearly better off not wasting our
time trying to think of questions and choices. Over the years, the survey has generated some good debate, but I suppose
this is the price we pay for the team being successful and the site becoming better known. Ho hum.
For the record, Arthur Gnohere was winning the poll to find Stan's best free transfer, with Nik Michopoulos second. Thanks to
almost everyone who voted.
Let's hope our sad friend out there in internet-land is now able to find something else to do with his time.
Perhaps making some friends, getting out of the house sometimes and searching for that elusive life
would be a start.
Earlier surveys
Tony Hancock is the
softest ever Claret
Okay, so we know when we're flogging a dead horse. Let's not pretend that anyone was particularly interested in our 'softest ever Claret' survey, which got the lowest response of any poll we've ever won. Interestingly, the survey to find the hardest Claret of all time, got one of the larger responses. Are we take this being positive thing too far? Anyway, for the record, the natural born comedian Tony Hancock won, taking 24% of the vote. It may be a few years ago, but this clown of Casper's is clearly not forgotten. Though we try. There was a tie for second, although I feel confident both of these would have let the other win. Steve Harper and Neil Moore both took 22%. Now Harper was a decent player in the 1991/92 Fourth Division Championship winning side, but I insisted on his inclusion because he was once said to have asked to be substituted during a defeat at Chester. The Lollipop Man, meanwhile, was perhaps football's first non-tackling central defender, holding up his 'Stop Children' sign and waving the attacking traffic through time after time. Still, waddle thought he was good. Current cultish hero and winger-cum-striker-cum-left-back Graham Di Branchio, AKA Krusty the Clown, trailed in fourth with 15%, while last place was also tied. Sharing 9% were 'keep that round thing away from me' midfielder Mark Fraud (AKA 'a first division player' - c waddle) and ineffectual sort-of striker Peter Mumby, who is clearly largely forgotten.
Brian O'Neil is the
King of Hard
Well, it might be thirty-odd years since he
played for us, but Brian O'Neil clearly left a lasting impression on the Claret faithful,
as he led from day one to win the Battle of Hard. With 32% of our vote, O'Neil stands tall
as the enduring hard man of Turf Moor. Local lad who did what we all dream of Andy Wharton
came second with 26%. It must have been the tattoos. Despite the fact that he currently
couldn't muscle his way out of a paper bag, one time hard man Kevin Ball came third with
14%. Andy Lochhead and Ray Hankin tied on 11%, while sixth in a very competitive field was
John Steele Deary with 6%. And what about Colin Blant, you may
ask?
Turn the music off!
We asked you what you thought, because when we
complained to the club about this season's innovation of playing music when Burnley score,
the club told us no one had complained and most people like it. Hmm. 63% of you hate it.
37% love it. To be honest, I'm surprised the second figure is so high. It's clear that
while a significant minority like the music, a substantial majority can't stand it. Hardly
an overwhelming thumbs up.
The slowest of the
slow
Sir Ronald of Jepson is the tortoise of Turf
Moor - official. The now-retired Jeppo scooped a winning 36% of our slowest player survey.
Breathing down his neck in second place is the infamous Lee Howey with 29% - and second's
not bad by Howey's standards. Joe Gallagher came third with 11%, ahead of an astonishing
three way photo finish between John Gayle, Gerry Gow and David Jones, all with 8%.
Armchairs and comfy slippers all round.
Room for improvement
Oh dear. We asked you what you though of the
official Burnley website, which we're constantly being told to go to, and many of you were
not impressed. Despite their privileged access to news and club personnel, only 15% of you
rated it the best Clarets site around. A further 15%, thought it very good. The biggest
vote, 29%, consider it fair to middling. 12% thought it mediocre, while it should be a
source of concern for the club that 26%, the second highest vote, said it was poor. One
crumb of comfort is that the lowest vote, a mere 3%, ranked it as utterly rubbish. It's
okay, but could do better, would seem to be the conclusion to draw from the figures.
Say we are staying
up!
We kept this one going far too long, but we were
struggling to think of a new question, if we're being honest. Anyway, the good news is
that we staying up. Okay, so it may seem obvious now, but it was a lot less so as the
season began. A ludicrous 5% and 8% tip us for promotion and the play-offs respectively.
11% think we'll fall just short of the top six. Sanity is perhaps to be found in mid
table, with 45% reckoning that we will finish in that respectable position. 24% won't look
any higher than survival, while enemy votes amount to 7%, as I can't imagine anyone other
than our rivals tipping us for relegation.
The Harry Potts
Longside... it's what you want
I've always thought that most
Clarets would like some kind of commemoration of Harry Potts, our greatest ever Manager,
at Turf Moor. Given that we already have the Bob Lord and Jimmy McIlroy stand, naming the
stand that replaced the Longside seemed an obvious thing to do. However, it currently of
course carries a sponsor's name, and club staff have expressed the view in the past that,
if it be called anything else, it should be the Longside. It occurred to us that no one
had ever asked you. Well, now you've had your say... and 79% of you want the stand to be
named in honour of Harry Potts. 50% thought the 'Harry Potts Longside' the best option,
while 29% went for the 'Harry Potts Stand'. The rest were nowhere. The Longside Stand got
13%, the North Stand 6% and, proving that money isn't everything, the sponsored name
option came last with a mere 2%. The club, naturally, promptly extended the sponsorship
deal for another year.
Nogan 'even worse
than Garner' shocker!
Well yes, we know, it's funny
how these things work out. He's now a rarely used substitute in a third division side,
while we strut proudly on the division one stage, but there's no getting away from it,
Kurt Nogan really did get under your skins. Maybe it was those goals he always scored
against us, or perhaps it was because the motivation he showed in opposition was something
rarely seen when he played for us. Whatever it was, a ridiculous 42% of you picked him as
most hated opponent. It's almost some kind of compliment. I never thought I'd see the day
that Simon Garner wouldn't win such a title. The epitome of Bastardom came second on 28%.
Everyone else was nowhere. Colin Hendry, the Albino Scotsman and crap defender of some
notoriety, who nevertheless scored a winning goal against us while at Man City, made it to
third with 11%. Brett Angell, who always, just always scores against us - and can a move
to Grimsby or Crewe be far away? - scraped a mere 9%, while joint bottom of the pile were
Kevin 'Freaky' Francis - somehow endearingly inept - and Andy Bernal, on 5%. Some of us
will never forgive what the latter did to Chris Vinnicombe.
Gloomfield Road
'worst ground ever' - official
Yes friends, the people have spoken in our worst
away ground survey and, to no one's great surprise, Blackpool's decrepit collection of
sheds has come out top. Haven't they built their new ground yet, then? A sweeping 63% of
the public demonstrated their good taste by condemning this pit to the ignominy of worst
ground in the world status. Speaking of which, why hasn't it been condemned by now? All
the rest were also-rans. Barnet's park ground took 16%, the dump that is Wembley (come on,
knock it down now!) had 9%, while Halifax's surreal world of the Shay gained 6%. Bringing
up the rear, while still of course worse than most were Torquay and Carlisle's non league
grounds (4% and 2% respectively). Let's hope we don't have to go to either of these for a
long, long time to come. What a treat it must be when these people come to Burnley.
Say we are going up!
Well the good news is that we are going up! The
bad news is, it's via the play-offs. So think 38% of you, although a further 28% see us
going to Wembley only to get beat. You miserable beggars! Just outside the play-offs had
some takers at 13%, while an optimistic 8% each of you went for outright champions - well,
no one's running away with it, are they? - or settled for second. The most encouraging
aspect is that mid table anonymity - a finish we would have settled for in quite a few
recent seasons - got the fewest takers, at a mere 6%. We kept this survey going for a bit
as the season took one or two turns, and it was interesting to note how the votes when
from optimistic to pessimistic to reasonably optimistic again - which seemed like a good
place to stop it!
The results of our 'Best
and Worst of the Nineties' surveys
