Thieves
like us
Crystal Palace 0 Burnley 1,
Saturday 9 September 2000
Report by Whitto
I’ve never liked Selhurst Park or Crystal Palace FC. I suppose that this
comes from living in the area for ten years. Ever since they got to the Cup Final and
every car that passed sported a red and blue ribbon, I have had this irrational hatred of
them. So it’s bloody typical that after living amidst these nobodies and their naff
team for ten years, without so much as a sniff of a game against them, within twelve
months of upping sticks to a much nicer area well away from their boorish
‘Eagles’ - or is it ‘Weasels’ - chants and their bizarre stripy
shirts, we end up playing there twice, or three times including Wimbledon.
Palace were once the archetypal
‘yo-yo’ team, too good for the first, not good enough for the premier, but a
mixture of bad managers buying bad players and appalling financial management culminating
in the laughably naïve Mark Goldberg situation now finds Palace plying their trade
amongst the people their fans so obviously look down upon. Get used to it boys,
you’re going to be here for a good while yet, providing you don’t fall through
the trapdoor, and we all know how easy that can be.
Anyway, I digress. Burnley arrived at Selhurst
fielding the same starting line up as that at Hartlepool on Tuesday night. Once again Gray
and Cooke were preferred to Payton and Branch, who with Jepson, Mullin and Maylett formed
the bench. The game began as it was to continue throughout; Palace attacked, we defended,
Jeff Winter gave them free kicks.
Almost immediately from the first whistle
Crichton failed to collect a high ball and Julian Gray failed to make the most of a fairly
routine chance. In truth, as the title of this piece suggests, we rarely threatened. Cooke
appeared to be involved in his own personal vendetta with the ‘chunky’ Ruddock
who responded to taunts of ‘You fat bastard’ by bizarrely rubbing his fingers
and thumbs together, in an ‘I may be fat but I’ve got money’ sort of way.
Yes Neil, but you’re still crap.
Palace’s game plan appeared to involve
getting the ball up to their big forwards as quickly as possible; this they did constantly
and it visibly shook our normally reliable back three of Davis, Cox and Thomas. Cox and
Thomas in particular looked shaky and it was often left to Davis to clear the danger. Too
many Clarets were trying to play football in the wrong area and instead of clearing their
lines they attempted to play the ball clear. This called no end of problems as the Palace
strikers quickly closed them down. Tommy Black was causing problems for Lee Briscoe down
our left, and we were being swamped in midfield. It didn’t look good.
Palace continued to make chances, which were
despatched wildly, defended desperately or well saved by Crichton, who after his shaky
start was one of the stars of the day. Palace’s ‘silent army’ of fans
looked on anxiously as their side messed up opportunity after opportunity to take the
lead, whilst their over physical approach earned them a couple of yellow cards. These
included one for Richard Harris, who seemed intent on ending Paul Cook’s involvement
in the game prematurely. One splendid moment in the first period came when Ian Cox took
the ball the length of the field before playing a one two with Andy Cooke and rifling a
shot towards goal, but unfortunately for Cox, Stuart Taylor in the Palace goal made a
great save. One splendid moment in the first period came when Ian Cox ran the length of
the field and played a clever one-two with Andy Cooke, before seeing his scorching shot
magnificently saved by Taylor in the Palace goal.
Just before half time Steve Davis took a nasty
blow to the face and although he didn’t receive any treatment at the time, he
didn’t re-appear after the break. He was replaced by John Mullin as Burnley reverted
to a flat back four. It is interesting to note that one of the Clarets' best players today
was Paul Weller, who showed glimpses of he talent that we all know he possesses. He
harried the Palace attackers at the back and when going forward caused no end of problems
for the Palace rearguard. Unfortunately, with the change of formation, Weller found his
opportunities in attack restricted and was forced to concentrate on his defensive duties.
Palace’s goalscoring opportunities became
more clear cut and one particular chance ended with Crichton saving magnificently one on
one from Clinton Morrison. Crichton in fact made three or four excellent saves which kept
Burnley in the match. Eventually, Stan Ternent made a change, star man Andy Payton
replacing the valiant but ineffective Gray to thunderous applause. Almost immediately
Palace found themselves with someone to watch as Payton’s runs and bustling caused
them problems. Payton got on the end of one high ball but headed into the side netting
from a tight angle. After 70 minutes and with Burnley defending ever deeper, the back four
rarely getting out of their own 18 yard box, Graham Branch was brought on to replace
Cooke. Branch looked to have been sent on to shore up the midfield whilst also providing
an outlet in attack. This move by Ternent was to prove the game breaker.
On 76 minutes Payton controlled a high ball
before threading it through to Branch, who slotted the ball calmly under the keeper and
into the net whilst under pressure from the defender. Cue mass jubilation from the 2,500
Clarets and bewilderment in the Palace stands as they saw the game slipping away. Palace
now began to panic as they saw a game that they had dominated turning sour. Zhiyi was
booked for a bad tackle and was lucky to stay on the pitch after a scuffle with Branch;
true to form Mr Winter only booked Branch, completely bottling the situation. As
Burnley’s defence creaked and swayed Winter once more intervened, when he penalised
Crichton for holding the ball for longer than the permitted six seconds. It will be
interesting to see if he does it to the assorted superstar goalies in the Premiership.
Anyway, Ruddock, who had already seen one free kick from a similar position fly just over,
blasted the ball against the inside of Crichton's left hand post and we all watched in
slow motion as it bounced clear. This forced the rotund former cockney / scouser into a
strange ritual of disappointment which involved him jumping into the air whilst clutching
his head.
With time fast running out, Palace finally
brought on their best striker. Mikael Forssell, on loan from Chelsea, must be delighted to
find himself warming the Selhurst bench whilst watching his team labouring to score goals;
maybe he could discuss the situation with Andy Payton. Forsell only had one chance, which
was thankfully blocked by the desperate Clarets defence. Winter ensured that we continued
to bite our nails for a bit longer by engineering four minutes of injury time. This was
only shown after we had already played 92 minutes anyway. Crichton made one last save from
a bullet header, palming the ball for a corner.
The last throw of the dice saw Palace throw
everyone including the keeper up for the corner, and the ball did eventually find its way
into the Clarets goal, but only after the final whistle had gone - not that the Palace
support that remained was aware of this as they went up as one.
Overall a good result. You couldn’t say we
deserved three points, but we’ve had smash and grabs go against us in our time and no
matter how desperate the defending at times we never gave up, and it’s that sort of
attitude that can ensure our survival this season. It was also splendid to see Ralph
Coates at the match as our special guest. Ever the gentleman, Ralph happily signed
autographs and chatted to all and sundry. Truly a Claret legend.
Team:
Crichton 8, Weller 8, Briscoe 7, Thomas 5, Cox 5, Davis 6 (Mullin 46 mins), Little 7, Cook
6, Cooke 5 (Branch 70 mins), Gray 5 (Payton 56 mins), Ball 6. Subs not used:
Jepson and Maylett.
Scorer: Branch
(77).
Attendance:
18,531.
Referee: the
appalling Mr Winter.
Whitto's Man of the
Match: Ralph Coates.
London Clarets Man
of the Match: Paul Crichton.
Links - the home game, our visit
here in the league cup and the home leg from the same
