Stans says
it was rubbish and I agree
Sheffield Wednesday 2 Burnley 0
Report by Hego
I had sort of wanted to undertake this match
report, partly as a look back to the FA Cup semi-final of 73/74, and also to have a
serious swipe at this club which has no memorial of any kind to those who died so
tragically so many years ago at Hillsborough. Can you remember where you were on that day?
Indeed I had already written part of the report before even stepping on the Guildford
train, at such a ridiculous time in the morning. This abject and pitiful performance
however, took the wind out of my literary sails, following so hard upon the rubbish that
was Portsmouth away, and the satisfaction that was Watford away. Colin Waldron and his
failure to dump Malcolm Macdonald on his backside that day (as he did so successfully with
other forwards of his era) will have to wait, as will the full frontal assault on SWFC.
Much like the Claret team at Hillsborough, I can’t be bothered.
The trip North through the snow was uneventful
for a change. The great and good took the travelling time to ponder the origins of the
Kilt Club, supermarket queuing philosophy, why you should never argue with a women whose
husband has a shotgun and the reason for SWFC’s tickets to be printed in red rather
than the more obvious blue. After some rather pleasant halves of ale and a tram trip,
onwards to the ground where the 20,000 crowd looked lost in such a large grand old
stadium. There was a hint of coal dust and stale whippet pee about the place.
On a cold and damp day, all was set for a repeat
of Tuesday’s performance. The SWFC shirts with the splodge of Chupa Chup custard on
the front managed to prove Bazza Kilby’s point that not all shirt sponsorships are
acceptable whatever the cost. Can you imagine a Chupa Chup on the front of the Claret
shirt? The miserable band of theirs was much in evidence; apparently only one of them is
able to play the instrument properly. Sounds like it too.
The first half was dreadful with mistakes a
plenty from both sides, and 45 minutes of some of the most one sided refereeing I have
seen for a long time. Not quite as incompetent as the Muppet at the Bristol Rovers away
game some years ago, but certainly had the same effect. SWFC started off the most
positive, as you would expect from a relegation threatened team containing Carlton Palmer,
but Booth and Ekoku up front were well held. If Cox and Booth had been any closer, they
would have had to get married. Moore did have a wasted half chance after five minutes from
a Taylor flick, but he was to have a poor frustrating day. He was in good company.
Soltvedt had the first real chance with a fierce shot inside the box following a Booth
flick after twenty minutes, which NTG saved brilliantly, as he also did from a Bromby
header. Mullin then had a lobbed effort which was just wide from a Briscoe free kick,
before NTG had to save superbly from Soltvedt again. The inevitable SWFC goal arrived just
before half time, when Hendon got free with an estuary of time, unmarked on our left
(offside?) from a Sibon pass, before smashing the ball in to the net via the underside of
the bar, leaving NTG no chance.
The facilities at half time for a ground such as
this were disgraceful. How on earth anyone could have escaped the upper tier in a hurry is
a mystery. Do these people never learn? The access and egress for the used ale repository
was a treat Sir Edmund Hillary might have enjoyed in his prime, but not for this Claret.
Sustenance, liquid or solid, was merely a pipedream.
The second half began with Paul Smith on for
Ball, who was off with a calf strain. This was not necessarily good news, but he responded
with a couple of runs (in a fashion), which livened up the proceedings a little. Pity
he’d left his hand brake on. Steve Davis was wrestled to the ground in the box at a
corner kick, but of course Rejer saw nothing, as he did again when Sibon (on a yellow)
scythed down Smith looking for a certain early bath. Little came on for Mullin, but was
anonymous as was the game, as I almost lost the will to live. The second SWFC goal came
from a penalty in the 70th minute, confidently hammered home by Sibon
inevitably, who should not even have been on the field. Cue the band. Apparently Cox had
brought down Ekoku after NTG had given the ball away with a poor kick. This was an unusual
mistake for NTG to make, but in keeping with the poor quality of the match. No hesitation
from Rejer in this decision of course. The man was ‘Blairing’ the boundaries of
what was expected even from a home referee.
Steve Davis pressed forward as is his wont and
his pride, and unleashed a fierce drive, which brought a good save from Pressman,
following which I departed the scene under the new end of season cut price two goal rule.
Apparently I didn’t miss much in the last five minutes or so and neither did the
majority of the London Clarets, who amazingly beat me to the tram stop. Our estimable
Treasurer, even, had left the ground early for only the third time in forty years of
watching the Clarets. This tells you as much about the Clarets' performance as my pitiful
prose can ever achieve.
The day was further spoilt by the antics of some
of the SWFC stewards, who decided to forget their true role and revert to their hooligan
past by attacking the away end. No doubt as always the club concerned will back its
stewards whatever the little angels get up to. On this occasion their antics were totally
unwarranted. Much like the New Den a couple of years ago, all football supporters seem to
be fair game
Aside from ‘The Legend’, and possibly
NTG, nobody in the Clarets team escapes from this shambles with any credit. Taylor in
particular made little effort, which was quite odd when one would think he was playing for
a contract.
With ten games to go, who is going to spend a
great deal of time and money watching these well paid players amble gently around for
ninety minutes, devoid of fight and inspiration? Well, I suppose we all will, being
Clarets. Who says that our season is at an end just because we have 52 points! Woe betide
if we play like this against the b*****ds and Nob End, as we will be humiliated. Shreeves
(who we briefly encountered on the train back south) has got SWFC fighting, but they are
still a poor side, as were Portsmouth, and were there for the taking.
Did you know that Huddersfield are the only team
in the Division whom we have played twice, and have beaten on aggregate over the two
matches? We are also, I think, the fourth lowest goal-scorers in the Division, down with
the QPR. Interesting.
Team (4-3-3):
Michopoulos, The Legend, Thomas, Cox, Briscoe (Payton 71), Mullin (Little 63), Weller,
Ball (Smith 45), Armstrong, Taylor, Moore. Subs not used: Crichton and Maylett.
Scorers: Hendon
(41), Sibon (70 pen).
Crowd: 20,184.
Referee: Homer
Rejer.
Hego's Man of the
Match: The Legend.
London Clarets Man
of the Match: Steve Davis.
The home game
