Whaddon load of rubbish
Cheltenham 2 Burnley 1
Report by Pauline Pratley
If you were at the game, you probably won’t be reading this. If you weren’t – lucky you. For anyone still clinging desperately to excuses, please be assured that the officials, pitch, weather, etc were all fine. We got beaten fair and square by a better – far better – side. The phrase 'giant killing' is totally inappropriate, because on Sunday, the so-called sleeping giant was a comatose pygmy.
We had all been looking forward so much to the game. For most people, Whaddon Road was a tick, and the match also represented (on paper, at least) an excellent chance of getting to the 5th round of the Cup for the first time in ages. A fantastic job had been done organising match tickets and travel, and the London Clarets were to be well represented in the crowd. Some had even made a weekend of it, such was the anticipation.
Things had gone fairly smoothly en route to the game. An uneventful drive, and even a parking space within yards of the meeting pub. A swift breakfast in Tesco’s café was followed by a couple of drinks in the Adam and Eve pub. A couple of us were then invited to join some Cheltenham fans in a taxi to the ground – very civilised. (One of them was a converted Liverpool fan, who remembered visiting the Turf years ago and seeing Jimmy McIlroy et al in action!) Naturally we accepted the offer of a lift, and so managed to arrive at the turnstiles nearly 20 minutes before kick-off.
Of course, things could only get worse, and they rapidly did. The usual patronising stewards: "Can I have a look in your bag, lovey? Oooh, I shouldn’t leave your money in there, lovey, it’ll blow away, lovey!" If there’s anything guaranteed to make my blood pressure rise, it’s being called "lovey". If the person doing it is a condescending jobsworth who truly believes that I need his advice on where to store my cash, then it’s even worse. (And who insisted on me opening the bag in the first place?)
To add insult to injury, when we eventually got through the turnstiles there were no programmes left. To be fair, the seller did his best to find some more for us, but to no avail. Top marks though to Hozzo, who managed to track some down after the game.
The programme seller had told us that Little was playing, but somehow I managed to miss the announcement giving the starting line-ups. The worst possible combination for a match report: a team that’s a) totally unfamiliar to me, and b) plays in stripes, so the squad numbers are as illegible as possible. At least I was familiar with one team...
Burnley:
Michopoulos, West, Cox, Gnohere, Briscoe, Little, Grant, Ball, Alan Moore, Taylor, Ian Moore. Subs: Cennamo, Armstrong,
Maylett, Branch, Cook.
Cheltenham: Book, Duff, Banks, Victory, Williams, Yates, Howells, Griffin, Milton, Alsop, Naylor. Subs: Grayson, Brough, Higgs, Devaney, Howarth.
As we waited for the match to begin, Firmo tried to be helpful by suggesting possible match report headings. I found this highly amusing at the time, but in hindsight, they all seemed to point towards a particular outcome. So now you know who to blame for the above title...
After the usual preliminary photographs etc, Cheltenham kicked off and I suddenly felt optimistic as the ball went straight out for a Burnley throw-in. Perhaps things would continue in the same vein, and Cheltenham would provide us with a smooth passage into round five?
Well, as we all know, it wasn’t to be. I can’t bear to go into too much detail, but in essence Cheltenham were on top virtually from start to finish. They seemed to combine physical presence (surely Alsop must be seven feet tall?), skill (in particular, from Milton and Victory down the left), and experience (Yates, Naylor) into a tidy package of teamwork and commitment. (Didn’t we once watch a team like that?) Within the first 15 minutes they had notched up an early corner, a header just wide of goal and a free shot, whilst our highlights consisted of an ultimately futile run from Alan Moore and a cross-cum-shot from Briscoe that dropped straight into the Cheltenham keeper’s hands. Indeed, most of our players seemed to be half asleep.
Just after the quarter-hour mark, injury was added to insult when Nik appeared to hurt himself in gathering a shot from Cheltenham’s lively no. 11, Milton. Nothing untoward seemed to have happened, but after a couple of minutes’ treatment it was clear that he couldn’t continue, and he was replaced by Cennamo.
Initially the substitution seemed to have woken Burnley up, and we won a corner (wasted by Ball, who probably should have done better but managed to head over). However, lethargy soon descended again, and an excellent free kick from Milton beat Cennamo to make it 1-0. We were still debating who was at fault for the goal (OK, Cennamo looked nervous, but the wall didn’t stand firm), when things got even worse. Dean West did his all-to-frequent 'after you, do go through' routine, Milton was able to put in a good cross and Alsop got his head onto it to put Cheltenham two up.
I was thinking about leaving the country – sorry, my seat – when surprisingly, we managed to get back into the game, a super run and shot from Alan Moore reducing the deficit to 2-1. We didn’t build on our goal, though, and the rest of the half passed without any real incident save a penalty appeal from Ian Moore (no, it wasn’t a penalty) and a reasonable cross from Little that ended up in the keeper’s hands. Oh, and a flare was thrown onto the pitch, but I’ll resist the obvious jokes. The half ended with another chance for Cheltenham (a good right-hand cross just too high for Victory) and a nasty challenge from Ball on the Cheltenham no. 2.
During half time we watched the subs warm up, and wondered how Stan would change things. The general consensus was that Cookie should come on to supply some decent passes and generally use his positive influence on the team.
Of course, that didn’t happen (in fact, Cookie remained on the bench throughout). Cheltenham started the second half looking good, a decent shot from Victory well held by Luigi. We did get more into the game, with Taylor, Alan Moore and Ball all having reasonable chances, and we had a few corners, but somehow never really looked like scoring. Stan brought on Branch (for Little) and Maylett (for Ian Moore), but to no avail. Cheltenham, meanwhile, didn’t falter at all. Indeed, they only made one substitution, taking off Tony Naylor (possibly injured following an earlier foul by Arthur) and bringing on the lively – and very physical – Grayson. Indeed at one point it looked like we would go 3-1 down after a mistake from Luigi let in Grayson, but fortunately the latter had no-one to pass to for what would have surely been a certain goal.
Things got worse for Luigi when Alsop jumped into him, and for a second the prospect of two injured keepers loomed large. Fortunately, Luigi quickly recovered. By then the match was nearly at an end, and five minutes of stoppage time later it was all over.
In summary, then, we fully deserved to lose. A better team beat us on the day, and there can be no complaints. The Cheltenham fans were very gracious in victory, sportingly assuring us that we were unlucky to lose and wishing us all the best for our league campaign.
Having had time to reflect, I’m actually not sure how to react to the defeat. It’s easy to be critical (sure, we were awful), but let’s not lose faith. We’re still in a good position in the league, and I have confidence in Stan’s ability to use Sunday’s fiasco to motivate the team. The capture of Robbie Blake should also give everyone a lift. So, let’s remain positive – and good luck to Cheltenham Town.
Team: Michopoulos (Cennamo 19), West, Cox, Gnohere, Briscoe, Little (Branch 77), Grant, Ball, A Moore, Taylor, I Moore (Maylett, 84). Subs not used: Armstrong and Cook.
Scorers:
A Moore (29) / Milton (23), Alsop (28).
Attendance: 7,300.
Referee: Mr A N Butler (Sutton-in-Ashfield).
Pauline’s Man of the Match: Alan Moore.
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