Derailed
Crewe 3 Burnley 1
Report by Pauline Pratley
For once, thinking of a title for the match report was easy. Think of Crewe, and you think of trains. Think of trains, and all sorts of words and phrases are conjured up. Here are a few that popped into my head: long, unrewarding journeys; signal failure; delays; crashes; running out of steam; missed connections; overcharging; cancellations; wrong direction; last train. Blimey, they're all metaphors for Burnley's season! I must be psychic. Soon I'll be seeing the Virgin Mary's face in root vegetables, and then there'll be no stopping me.
See, this is what supporting Burnley does to one's brain. I'm sure I was relatively sane at the start of the season, but I'm rapidly becoming an uncoordinated, spineless wreck. (And what does that remind you of?)
A fellow London Claret has a saying that "the worse the journey, the better the result". Well, Patrick and I had a great journey up to Crewe. It being Boxing Day, the roads were virtually empty. Granted, we'd left late because I was ill (again - yawn), but we soon made up the time, picking up Dermot en route at Bishops Stortford.
We were all in a fairly jolly mood, with lots to catch up on. Naturally, we discussed Burnley, and how disappointing the season had been, but we were all optimistic that the day would bring a good result. Dermot had had knee surgery only a few days beforehand, but even that hadn't put him off - there's dedication!
Even better, I got to tick the new M6 toll road. Now, I don't agree with the principle of toll roads, but I do like to try new routes. Initially, it looked like we wouldn't be venturing onto it. Paddy was driving, and the conversation went something like this:
Me (plaintively): "Can we go on the new toll road? Oh, go on!"
Paddy (irritably): "Are we bollocks going on the new toll road. I'm not paying two pounds just to tick some tarmac. The M6 will do fine for us. How old are you?"
A few minutes later, we were merrily whizzing down... the new toll road. The roads are arranged in such a way that unless you make a positive decision to turn off the main carriageway, you end up on the new road by default. Well, that was Paddy's excuse, anyway. Tick!
After the obligatory food and fuel stops, we met up with a few of the others at the Rising Sun pub in Wistaston, just outside Crewe - a 'tick' for Paddy. (How come it's OK to tick pubs, but not roads?) It was a very nice pub, with a choice of real ales on and a friendly atmosphere. It was surprisingly deserted, too - presumably most of the local drinkers were still nursing their Christmas hangovers and finishing up the turkey.
After a couple of drinks, we set off to Crewe, and (only one wrong turning later, when we followed Kevin into a supermarket car park!) soon arrived at the main 'meeting pub', the Borough Arms. This is a pub where home and away fans mix happily together - none of that miserable "no away fans" stuff. Apparently the beer was good, too, but as I had assumed driving duties by then, I wouldn't know.
As we left the pub, a friendly Crewe fan bid us a joking farewell: "I hope you have a shit game!". Hmm, another psychic, perhaps? It also started to pour with rain, so on arrival at the ground we were soaked. We weren't best pleased to then find that our seats were at the front of the stand.
Peering through the rain, it was (just) possible to see that Burnley lined up with Jensen in goal; West and Camara as fullbacks; Arthur and Branch in the centre of defence; Weller, Grant, Chaplow and Little in midfield, with Blake pushing on; and Ian Moore up front.
Crewe's line-up included rumoured Premiership targets David Wright and Dean Ashton, some familiar names in the shapes of Clayton Ince and Kenny Lunt, and some complete - to me, anyway - unknowns (Billy Jones, anyone?).
Pre-match predictions had mainly been of the "goalfest" variety - surely we would score, but the question was whether or not we would be able to keep a clean sheet. Still, my hopes were fairly high. After all, our luck had to turn some time.
Amazingly, considering the final result, we almost went ahead shortly after kick-off. We had attacked them from the off, and Ince had to react quickly to save a well-struck shot from the effervescent Chaplow. I was still wringing out my coat at that point, so I've no idea what led up to it!
For once we continued to pile on the pressure. Ince tipped over a speculative shot from Little, which dipped at the last moment and would probably have sneaked under the crossbar. We thought that Blake had scored at one point, but no - side netting. The Beast was a virtual spectator as the Clarets drove forward time and time again, Blake pulling the strings and looking set to increase his goals tally.
There was some bad news on the quarter-hour mark, when Little seemed to injure himself stretching to make a tackle and was substituted for Chadwick. Not a bad sub to have waiting, though. (As an aside, I wish that some Burnley supporters would start referring to Chadwick by his proper name, or an appropriate nickname. I don't like to hear one of our players having "Rat Boy" shouted at him by his own fans. A bit childish, I think.)
As the half progressed, we continued to put Ince under more and more pressure, which he dealt with well. He made two more excellent tip-overs, after shots from Chaplow and Branch. Robbie Blake was still causing problems at ground level, and it looked like we would score any minute.
Of course, you can predict what happened next: the perfect counter-attack. It ended with Ashton scoring the goal, and I think he may have even started the move in Burnley's half. Unfortunately, rain-soaked glasses don't make for accurate match reporting! Anyway, the ball was eventually played diagonally through Burnley's midfield, and then Ashton popped up on the end of it to hammer home a left-footed shot. The Beast had no chance.
The half petered out, me wondering how on earth we were losing 1-0. The answer, though, was plain: a sub-standard defence. No matter how well our forwards do, we all know that the defence is likely to concede a couple of soft goals. Realistically, then, we must score two goals each game to give us the chance of a point, and when the strikers aren't firing (or the opposing keeper is playing well), this isn't necessarily an easy task, even with players like Blake in the side. I really can't understand why Ternent persists with playing Branch in the centre of defence. I like Branchy - he is a one-hundred-percent player, and a good one at that. He just isn't a centre back, and it isn't fair to him or to the team to keep putting him in there week after week. Surely McGregor would be worth an extended chance? Increasingly, I feel that Stan's stubbornness is costing us points.
During the break, I chatted with Mr Benyon, who said that he couldn't see Burnley coming back into it. Michael has seen a lot (a lot!) of games, and is usually pretty accurate with his predictions. Not very encouraging!
During the second half, we had the usual "safety interventions" by the police. That is, they pick out one person in the away end who happens to be standing up, and come over all sarcastic and officious. Naturally, it doesn't matter that hundreds of home fans are standing up: it's that one person in the away end who represents a serious threat to public safety (or an easy target, perhaps).
Today's fall guy was Dermot, who'd briefly stood up after some on-pitch incident or other. A burly officer hurried up the steps, leaned across me (thus nicely blocking my view of the game), and told Dermot that if he continued to stand up he would be thrown out. When Dermot pointed out that the Crewe fans behind the goal to our right were almost all standing up, the officer pointed further down the away stand and triumphantly announced: "So are they [the Burnley fans]!". What an idiot.
Actually, I had occasion myself to get irritated with some of the people in front of me, who were constantly standing up for no good reason. All things being equal, I prefer to stand up at a game. That way you can choose who you stand next to, maybe move around and try a different view and / or some different company, and go to the loo / food bar without having to run the gauntlet of tutting and sighing as you excuse yourself to a series of strangers. When sitting down, I do think that people should be mindful of those behind them, and - although it's inevitable that nearly everyone will stand up when something exciting happens on the pitch - sit down when there's clearly no need to stand and it's merely blocking others' view.
Today's offenders were three young lads, old enough to be let out on their own but apparently devoid of any significant intelligence beyond that required to eat burgers and spit out obscenities. Their sole reason for standing up - in fact, probably their sole reason for being at the game at all - was to abuse the nearby Crewe fans. Aliens could have landed on the pitch, and our cerebrally-challenged friends wouldn't have noticed. Requests to sit down were met with blank stares and open mouths, plus some eye-rolling, to the extent that I briefly dreamed of "doing a Stan" and head-butting the lot of them.
Things weren't going too well on the pitch, either. The Clarets had come out fighting, Blake once again to the fore, but, as before, our dominance didn't result in a goal. The half was only ten minutes old when a mix-up between Branchy and Arthur provided an easy opportunity for Crewe's Steve Jones to get on the scoresheet. Once again, The Beast was blameless.
The second goal effectively killed off the game, but almost immediately afterwards it was nearly 3-0 as the hapless Branchy almost (and for no apparent reason) headed the ball into Burnley's net.
Although I'd given up, the Clarets hadn't, and to be fair made a good attempt at getting back into the game. The busiest player on the pitch was probably Ince, who dealt well with efforts from Grant, Blake and McEveley (who, somewhat surprisingly, had replaced Chaplow shortly after Crewe's second goal).
Eventually, Burnley got some reward, when Chadwick was tripped in the area. Ref Trevor Parkes had no hesitation in pointing to the spot, and Blake despatched the spot-kick. By now, we were in the 90th minute - was there time for another goal?
Yes, of course there was! Unfortunately, though, not at the right end. We were pushing forward so much that there were huge gaps at the back, duly exploited by Jones. 3-1. The final whistle followed soon afterwards.
We made our way back to the pub, where who should we see but the clairvoyant Crewe fan from earlier. He was a nice chap, but we could probably have done without further reminders of the scoreline!
We drank up rather more quickly than might otherwise have been the case, and set off on the long drive home. By now, you're probably wondering how Dermot's leg was. Well, it was decidedly dodgy: weak, weeping, and in some danger of collapsing altogether. A bit like the Burnley team, unfortunately.
Were there any positives to take from the game? Well, Robbie Blake, as ever; Tony Grant is in good form; and the team didn't give up even when 2-0 down. It was also nice to see Mark McGregor on display, even if it was only for twenty minutes - he replaced Dean West in the 71st minute.
Negatives? Do we have the space? Well, the most apparent problem (to supporters, if not to the manager) is the frailty of our defence. Branchy and Gnohere go together like oil and water. And, as mentioned before, Branchy is not a centre half.
The other thing we are lacking is a target man. At the moment, high balls into the box are largely wasted. Sure, we can (and do) try to play to our strengths, but sometimes you need to go Route One - and currently, that isn't an option.
Now that the midfield looks more assured, the remaining weakness is (in my view) the fullbacks. West - never the quickest - is starting to look past it, and his exemplary one-hundred-percent effort isn't compensating for the increasing ease with which opposing players can get past him. Maybe it's time to give Roche another run out. As regards Camara, I'm still not convinced. Again, effort a-plenty, and definite skill going forwards. But I don't feel confident when he's defending, though that could be because the centre of our defence is so soft. The Beast? Again, I'm not sure. He's a good shot-stopper, but weak on crosses. And he is carrying too much weight. As with Camara, though, he is made to look worse because he gets little support from those directly in front of him.
Oh dear. Doesn't look good, does it? Still, I'll be happy if Burnley can stay in the Division and out of administration. I'm fairly confident on both counts, but I have the feeling that both will be close-run things.
PS To cheer you up, and as an added extra, here's a picture of Dermot (supported by Paddy) outside Bishops Stortford railway station, at around 11pm. Dear God - he's only got one leg!
Burnley: Jensen, West (McGregor, 71), Gnohere, Branch, Camara, Weller, Grant, Chaplow (McEveley, 59), Little (Chadwick, 16), Blake, Ian Moore.
Subs not used: Roche, O'Neill.
Scorers: (Crewe) Ashton 37, Steve Jones 55, 90 / (Burnley) Blake 89 (pen).
Referee: Trevor Parkes (Birmingham).
Attendance: 9,512.
Pauline's Man of the Match: Robbie Blake.
As with all articles on the site, the views expressed in the match reports section are those of the individual contributor, and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Burnley FC London Supporters' Club.
