Exhibition
Football
Stoke
City 1 Stan Ternent's Burnley 2
Report by Hego
It’s
not often that the Clarets have started a game
with three players making their debuts, all of
which were new arrivals from the hallowed land
of the Premier League. Such is the football world
we live in today, where football contracts are
manufactured by Andrex, and where the influence
of the mighty Stan’s contacts is invaluable.
Note for future reference that the Bolton guys
are paid in excess of £10,000 per week! The
Britannia Stadium on a rainy day, playing against
a ‘Pulis’ team - who had surprisingly
started well this season - was a testing introduction.
This
particular away game is not one of my favourites,
and if it hadn’t coincided with a heaven-sent
opportunity not to lose Brownie points (she who
must be obeyed was working) I probably wouldn’t
have bothered. Stoke is not the friendliest place
I have ever been to (understatement), and the new
out of town ground is, unsurprisingly, not a model
of stadium transport efficiency. I hate to say
it, but we could learn a lot from the Americans
on how to deal with proper access to sports stadia.
The heavy rain, lack of decent pubs and the detested
Cooper (a man at the very bottom of the food chain)
as referee marked this down clearly as a labour
of love. All of these downsides did not put off
a substantial Claret following, which was animated
and vocal throughout the game. Once again, unreserved
seating allowed congregation of like-minded souls,
who created a proper football fan atmosphere.
The
need to find room for the Clarets' debutants
saw inevitable changes in the team. Two solid,
experienced, centre halves - what luxury -
with Branch pushed into the left side midfield
to accommodate Todd. Farrelly was a straight replacement
for Weller, and Facey for Moore I. The latter two
- now substitute, non-loan Clarets - were probably
none too impressed. Delilah’s notable participants
included the Chelsea reject de Goey in goal, and
a Noel-Williams / Asaba partnership up front. All
three were to have a major influence on the game.
The
early stages were all Burnley, exhibiting a fluid,
passing game which the Delilahs could neither
cope with nor understand, nourished as they are
by the Pulis long ball diet. Here is a man who
believes that the answer lies in a custom-fit
game, when we all live in an off-the-rack world.
The
Times described it as five a side exhibition
football, which was apt, as Blake, Chadwick, Farrelly
and
even Grant played keep-ball triangles. There were
numerous Claret chances; Facey heading narrowly
wide from a Chadwick cross (12), and then Farrelly
hammering the post with a wicked left-foot effort
(14) with de Goey beaten. The goal was inevitable,
and it came not from a neat passing move, but from
a corner won by sheer persistence. The resulting
Farrelly corner kick was ably flicked on by Branch
for May (17) to slot home. This was his first goal
since March 1997 (during Champions League action
against Porto, when Luke Chadwick was still in
nappies).
The
second goal was made by a lively Branch run on
the left; he manœuvred a quick one-two with Blake
before leaving the boy Luke (25) to finish the
move neatly, giving De Goey no chance. Two goals
to the good already, and the Clarets on cruise
control. After a long unhindered sprint down the
left by Mo Camara (celebrating his first tackle
of the season), Pulis finally lost his cool with
the team, with an in-character pram / toy evacuation.
His temper was not helped by the moribund Noel-Williams
missing an easy, unmarked, headed chance in the
box. Facey then pulled another Claret chance
wide, before a beautiful curler from Blake following
a typical dribble was tipped away from its top
corner trajectory by de Goey. Another class save,
which gave the Delilahs at least some hope.
End of half, and a standing ovation from the Claret
end. Shaggy Dog was hastily contemplating his own
version of a loan deal (the banking variety) to
try to pay for all the mandatory curries required
for each Claret away win this season.
It
was patently obvious, however, that the Clarets
would be under some sort of pressure as the second
half
resumed, and so it came to pass. It was then time
for Asaba’s comic three minutes, when, with
previously unseen aggression, he followed through
nastily on Westy (51) with the ball a cricket pitch
length away. He was quite correctly booked by Cooperman
- a contradiction in terms, I know! A few minutes
later he crept unseen into the Claret box to meet
a cross from the left - totally unchallenged,
with the Beast rooted to his line and not a centre
half in sight. Bad, bad goal, and 2-1 in a game
we should have finished off long ago. Cooperman
then entered the equation again almost immediately
during the next Delilah attack, by sending off
said Asaba (54) for an aerial forearm smash on
David May. Could have been a straight red card;
I am not sure. Listening to BBC Stoke radio on
the way home, you would have thought the little
angel had been savagely mistreated for two slight
peccadilloes that cost them the match. I suppose
Radio Lancashire are just as bad at these one-eyed
versions of events.
Against
ten men we continued to cede territory, and were
quite lucky that Noel-Williams (57) when sent
clear made another hash of a good chance. About
as useless
as he was at Watford, and probably still suffering
the long-term side effects of taking Junior Aspirin.
Farrelly then departed the scene (69) for Paul
Weller, with what looked like a bad injury, after
a good performance. Facey - who looked lively but,
not unsurprisingly, not match fit - made way
for Moore I, who had something to prove. Before
leaving
the
field rather reluctantly, Facey released Blake
(72) with a flicked-on header, and the latter's
shot was again well saved by de Goey. Moore I
then
had
the ball
in the net soon afterwards - a strike which was
disallowed for a very tight offside decision. The
third leg of the loan triumvirate then contrived
to miss two relatively clear headed attempts at
goal (to add to one in the first half), which would
have capped a fairly solid debut.
It
was inevitable that Cooperman would thrust his
huge bulk back in to the limelight, and so it came
to pass. This time it was Sam Ellis in the frame
for some slight perceived misdemeanour, after a
discussion of conceptual knitting patterns which
of course included Stan. Banishment of Ellis to
the bench lasted all of ten seconds. Pulis continued
with his tirade, outside the designated area and
only feet away from Cooperman, without punishment.
The
rest of the match was Claret keep-ball culminating
in two Branch attempts at goal, one of which hit
the post and the other which was again well saved
by de Goey. A goal would have been due credit
for a good performance by the Italian Stallion,
who
as part of his new role provided much needed heading
ability up front in the absence of Golden Bonce.
A
top performance, then, particularly in the first
half; and a great result (should have been more)
- albeit against a not very good side. All the
team played well, especially Blake and Chadwick
who are
looking in real Premier League form, and Branch,
who revelled in his new role. A strong central
defence looks on the cards as well, as the ‘real’ captain
David May took charge. Forty-one points to go.
Thought
for the day: Who is the evil person who first
decided to spell ‘lisp’ with an ‘s’?
Team
(4-4-1-1): Jensen, West, May, Todd, Camara,
Chadwick, Branch, Grant, Farrelly (Weller,
71), Blake, Facey (Ian Moore, 79).
Subs not used: Alan
Moore, Chaplow, O'Neill.
Scorers: (Stoke)
Asaba 53 / (Burnley) May 18, Chadwick 27.
Referee: The
despicable, detestable Cooperman, AKA M Cooper
(Walsall).
Attendance: 14,876.
Hego's
man of the match: Luke Chadwick.
As with all articles on the site, the views expressed in the match reports section are those of the individual contributor, and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Burnley FC London Supporters Club.
