In place of strife
Burnley 1 Fulham 0, 1st May 1999
Tim Quelch
Thank
you Ronnie. At seven minutes past five on May 1st you allowed my life to
resume. But it’s with mixed feelings that I now return to humdrum things. For like a
mucky grouter I’ve not only lined life’s edges with Burnley woes, I’ve
smeared great dollops over the main surfaces, too. Mind you, my boss will be dead pleased.
Of late, my mind has tended to wander. But tell me this, how can you deal with budget
crises when you’re still waiting on Payton’s fitness? Our Finance Manager
understands. Even if he did turn all of my fiftieth balloons into five-nils. My birthday
came just days after the Bournemouth debacle. Not that he’s got reason to be smug. He
supports Reading.
Anyway what’s this to do with anything?
What is much more important is that on this day Burnley saved themselves. In so doing,
they beat the best team in the division. OK it was a bit like ram raiding Harrod’s
showroom. But what’s wrong with that? Too long this team has been without spunk, to
use Ronnie’s favourite expression. At Fulham, they experimented with
performance-retarding substances. Here, they preferred 100% arousal, as perhaps befits a
side now fed exclusively with raw meat and Marilyn Manson. I suppose nine bookings, fifty
free kicks, four casualties and one (last gasp) dismissal (Kit Symons) gives this away.
Having said that, the ref did seem anatomically connected to his whistle. I bet he was the
King of Cool at his local roller disco. But let us be clear on one point. Fulham came here
in search of a record points tally. Certainly, they were up for this. Unfortunately for
them, Burnley were prepared to scrape and grapple their way higher.
We thought we had the perfect start. After just
two minutes, Cook’s perfectly curled free kick allowed Davis to head powerfully past
Taylor. But it was ruled out for offside. Thereafter, the first half play became largely
confined to midfield. Fulham were prepared to play a patient lateral passing game, trying
to free themselves of the almost indecent attentions of the Burnley defenders. Indeed,
Brass spent the whole afternoon groping and grinding with Hayles, refusing the lightning
striker any space to run into. Definitely a home win, there. Meanwhile, Davis was
wrestling and writhing with Horsefield, before the latter’s injury ended the combat.
Horsefield did manage to get away from Davis a few times, once with real menace. So,
probably a score draw with this one. Peschisolido didn’t seem to fancy it much. He
suffered a groin injury, apparently. Sexists might blame Karren. I couldn’t possibly
comment. All I know is that he had the briefest look at what was going on before deciding
that he’d rather have a nice cup of tea. Perhaps a slither of Madeira cake, too.
They’re brought up nicely, these Harrods’ boys.
Not that the battling was just down to Brass and
Davis. Cowan and Pickering also showed that defence is still technically possible for
Burnley full backs. Cook did his bit, too, quickly closing down his opposite numbers. Only
Branch disappointed with his indecision and half-heartedness. However, even his super stud
display took sweeper Simon Morgan out of the game.
Fulham had a couple of reasonable chances before
the break but Burnley had the better opportunities. Cooke had one effort smartly saved by
Taylor and Davis headed narrowly wide when well placed. However, for the most part, Cooke
was left to battle alone while Burnley pulled everyone else back.
After half time, Fulham began to show their
class in the final third. Horsefield’s header grazed the far post and Hayles lobbed
over after Armstrong had badly misjudged the bounce. For all that, Burnley hung in there.
Horsefield’s enforced departure did not end Davis’ difficulties for substitute
Lehman proved equally troublesome, particularly in the air. However, when
Peschisolido’s replacement, Betsy, had to be removed because of a fractured arm,
Burnley began to make numerical advantage count. They should have gone ahead when Cooke
was through, but he stabbed his shot just wide. But it all ended happily, thanks to
Ronnie.
Ronnie had come on for the second half. It was
an inspired move, with Branch prompting that inspiration. What is it with this guy? He has
speed and talent yet seems to feel as if tosserdom is a better career option. Anyway, on
comes Ronnie and makes straight for the thick of things. I’ve only seen him in fits
and starts and yet I’m already in love. He may have only cost a dime but to me
he’s a million dollars. Today was his day. After 82 minutes, Cowan hurls in one of
his long throws. Symons heads out but Cook heads back in. Davis deflects the header
downward and there is Ronnie. In one sweeping movement, he flicks the ball around his
body, swivelling with perfect timing and volleying fast and low to Taylor’s right.
Turf Moor shuddered with relief and appreciation. Any goal would be good enough but this
was a classy strike, one that a Cole or a Shearer would have been proud of. What a way to
end your convalescence! Welcome back, Ronnie. Please don’t go to Rochdale. I want to
see some more.
So, we’re safe after all. None of us
who’d endured the City fiasco gave Stan and the boys a prayer. But they not only
proved us wrong; they did it with something to spare. This was a magnificent achievement.
So whom should we credit? Well, why not start with Barry Kilby? After all, he held his
nerve while 10,000 of us were looking for other saviours. No mean feat, that, especially
when your big investment threatens to turn into shite. But Barry was no King Midas of
ordure. Ordure didn’t need to be obeyed. He stuck by Stan and Stan and the boys did
him proud. Chairmen don’t often get the plaudits. Barry deserves plenty. I like the
way he conducts himself. I like his inclusive style. I like the few bob he’s put in,
too.
Next up? Why, Stan himself. I’ve criticised
him this year – the gang of four saga, his distancing manner, his silly statements to
the press and some of his selections and tactics. But in the end he proved us all wrong.
Only Harry Potts has turned a side around like Stan did. Stan rammed all of our premature
judgements down our throats. And I’m absolutely chuffed for him. His signings of Cook
and Cowan were inspirational. The team began to see adversity as a challenge. Setbacks
weren’t there to be moaned over. They were there to be overcome. Take the games with
Wrexham, Macclesfield, Oldham, Colchester and Northampton. In each of these games Burnley
came back from behind. No one epitomised this battling spirit more than Tom Cowan did.
Now, the fighters are the majority. Finally we have a team that should challenge for
honours, not one that just scraps for safety. At last, we’ve re-learnt how to win
points away from home as well.
As for the players, the stars are obvious. It
was good to see Brass regain form and confidence. Next year, I think he should replace
Armstrong in that sweeper role. But there are a few who’ve got something still to
prove. Branch certainly comes into that category. There are others, too, like Mellon, Reid
and Johnrose.
Mellon started brilliantly, but has had as many
inconspicuous games as good ones. I expected more battling performances. Apparently, he
was a star against Wigan but against City he went AWOL. He was scarcely better against
Fulham, at least when he didn’t have possession. I think he needs to fight more when
the ball has been lost.
Reid has played some blinders. His performance
in the Crap at the Cottage was stupendous. But during the first half at Rovers he was a
liability. I gather he’s still making his mind up about a further contract. I think
I’ll be disappointed if he goes but I won’t be weeping buckets.
Johnrose has simply got it all to do. He played
well against Colchester, but I think that’s about it. Apparently, he’s not been
fully fit, so I reserve judgement.
It was good to see Pickering and Crichton
finally showing us what they’re capable of, but I think we need some good cover for
both positions. Assuming we hold onto Cowan (surely, we must!?), we need cover there, too.
I hope Cook stays, although that it is looking uncertain. He’s a better version of
Damien Matthew i.e. he can open up attacking options while still being capable of making a
tackle. Robertson looks as if he might move on, too. He’s young and presumably should
be developing but I bracket him with Reid.
As for the obvious rejects, they pick
themselves: Morgan (too slow and erratic), Moore (also, too erratic), Vindheim (pity, I
expected more of him), Kval (never recovered from Darlo). Swan may well be on this list as
well, also some of the younger players like Carr-Lawton and Carl Smith but I hope they
give Kevin Henderson an extended chance.
And now for my Harvey’s (of Lewes) Moments
of the Season:
Andy Payton’s defiant leveller at Reading;
The chant of ‘What the f*** is going
on!!’ as we go four up at Colchester;
Andy Cooke’s winner just after that
Rovers’ gargoyle had badmouthed me;
Stevie Davis’ fizzer at the Den of Iniquity
(AKA Bermondsey’s Banana Republic);
Brian Reid’s bullet header at Cow Pat
Corner;
Andy Payton’s wicked swivel on Dog Day
Afternoon;
Ally Pickering’s parting gift to his
deceased dad;
Ronnie Jepson flattening Fulham’s fizz.
The lowlights are far too obvious, but I’ll
say this much. After that glorious sunset over Dean Court, I’ve declared all
delightful shepherds to be legitimate targets. I know gallows humour is the lifeblood of
publications like this. But wouldn’t it be nice to forfeit it, just for one season of
unalloyed, complacent glory? I wouldn’t know what to write but it wouldn’t
matter, really it wouldn’t.
Team: Crichton, Pickering (Johnrose
51), Cowan, Mellon, Davis, Brass, Little, Cook, Cooke), Branch (Jepson 46), Armstrong.
SNU: Reid.
Firmo's report
and the very different away game
