Last Christmas
York 3 Burnley 3, 26th December 1998
Cozzo
My track record for this season is
not very good to say the least. The opening day victory over Bristol Rovers giving the
usual false hope, followed by defeats against York City at home and Walsall away; a draw
at the whiffy Majedski Stadium of shite and the heavy defeat at Preston were all I had to
show before Christmas.
The Preston game was a great day despite the
result, as my nephew was chosen as the team mascot, and if only my mate had arrived 5
minutes earlier I could have been stood by the touchline and the dugout as the players ran
out. But he didn't, and I had to be content with watching from the stands, glowing with
pride as he sprinted with head held high towards the centre circle showing the much older,
podgier Preston mascot how to run. Unfortunately the players were peeling off towards the
goal, so he had to be called over to warm up and kick the ball with the players. Being
only five, the ball was a bit big for Matthew but Gordon Armstrong was brilliant with him
all day and really looked after him. He also got an excellent picture from Burnley of the
captains, mascots and referee, who gave him a wallet with some money in. See, they are
human! My sister made an excellent 15 minute video of the day and he apparently talked his
head off when he went into the dressing room with the players. A nice touch as he was
walking back to his seat past the dugout was that Stan asked if he had enjoyed himself,
even though the game was about to start and he must have been thinking of other things.
Shame about the game, but afterwards we did get
invited up to the Great Room and I managed to have a chat with Eyresy. Strangely enough,
Nogan and Parky also appeared. Surely they weren't trying to rub it in for the few Burnley
fans that were there? None of the Burnley players appeared as Stan gave them a good
talking to and put them straight on the bus, which was understandable, but a shame for us.
I did see Mr Teasdale on the stairs but decided not to introduce myself in case he took it
the wrong way and threatened to sue me.
It was a great day for my nephew and one he'll
be able to remember for a long time. It was a shame he didn't get any mention in the
program or over the PA, unlike the Preston mascot, but if that's what you pay £195 for
then good on Burnley for not charging for it. For once Burnley get it right!
Anyway I digress (as usual). The main point of
this was to discuss the Christmas games against York and Lincoln. I went to bed the night
before thinking, I'll tell my sister we won't bother going to York tomorrow as it's going
to pour down, be very windy and the terrace at York is open to the elements. Didn't work,
and a phone call to York revealed that there wasn't even due to be a pitch inspection.
Next plan: get there early and get a seat.
After a detour via Bolton Abbey (I still say
that the sign said there was a café) and a stop at the Little Chef where someone looking
(and walking) very much like David Eyres served us, we arrived in York only to realise
that we didn't have any directions to the ground. A couple of trips around the centre and
a stop at a garage and we were no nearer. Taking over the map from the aforesaid
five-minutes-late-friend, I found there was a town centre map of York. It didn't tell us
where we were but at least we knew where to go. Eventually after a little toing and froing
(next time, sis, remember the programme with the directions in it) we arrived and parked.
Kitted out in waterproof coat, two jumpers, gloves, coat, scarf and overtrousers, I was
ready for anything, except a piss.
Now, here's where I have to make a confession of
the highest order for a London Claret: I arrived on the ground at seven minutes to three
totally sober, and I wasn't even driving. What worried me more was 110 minutes (including
half-time and injury time) of driving wind and rain and a heavy defeat. What a surprise it
all turned out to be!
After twenty minutes of total dross, with only a
sharp turn and shot from Rodney Rowe and a couple of quarter chances for Burnley to speak
of, the game burst into life. The game was flowing from end to end with both teams looking
dangerous. This was despite a referee who seemed incapable of giving free kicks to
forwards. Reid was all over Cresswell, pushing and shoving him, and Cooke was getting much
the same treatment at the other end. Rowe and Payton were far more experienced, got their
pushes in first and received the ball to feet. From there, both were causing problems, and
it was Payton who struck first when, after picking the ball up from a fellow Claret who
appeared to have been fouled (probably Cooke), he skipped past two defenders and slammed
the ball past Mimms in the York goal. (More of him later.) Payton then did a magnificent
double shuffle to wrong foot the defender before screwing his shot wide. Cresswell then
got a break when looking suspiciously offside, but Crichton stood up well and blocked his
shot magnificently.
Half time; 1-0 up, no rain and looking good.
Eastwood was getting some joy down the left. Robertson working hard as ever on the right
without really threatening. Morgan having a much more solid game. Impressed with my first
sight of Pickering. Ford and Armstrong competing well in the middle. With Payton electric
up front, the only doubts were Reid's and Brass' ability to keep the York forwards in
check and Cooke, who was once again struggling. We all know Cookie has ability but he has
been frustrated by suspension and niggling injury and really needs the confidence of a
goal or two. I've heard people saying he's lazy and not trying, and can't control a ball.
This is the same Cooke that had Bristol City and Port Vale bidding big money for him
earlier this season. He has not become a bad player overnight and he'll be back sooner
rather than later. He does also seem to get a rough ride from referees, as witnessed in
the second half when he was clearly thrown to the ground and the assistant referee rightly
signalled the free kick as he was only five yards from the incident. The referee, who was
fifteen yards away, simply signalled play on.
Back to the game, and the second half was one of
the best 45 minutes you could hope to see, if you were a neutral. Woody later said to me
that at half time he said that the game would be decided by whether Burnley could get the
ball to Payton more than York could get it to Rowe. Very perceptive, and I couldn't put it
better myself. Rowe's turn left Reid for dead and his shot into the top corner was
perfection. Grudging admiration for a great goal and the disappointment of being level.
Meanwhile Bobby Mimms was being given a torrid
time in the goal in front of the Burnley fans. Aside from the usual 'Bastard reject', it
wasn't funny and it was quite personal. Whatever happened to witty repartee and songs?
Surely we could come up with something better? It took me back to the Preston game when
most of the fans in the Shankly stand took great delight in calling Nogan a few names,
upon which he promptly scored. It never works so why do we do it ? For instance in this
game: (1) A shimmy from Payton puts him through in the area with only Mimms to beat. Mimms
stands up and makes a good block, much like Crichton's earlier save. He also saves
Robertson's first follow up but he does manage to sneak the second one in. Close call for
the fans but they got away with it. (2) In the first half, the Burnley fans spent some
time calling the York left back, Hall, referring to his follicular deficiency in the head
department and his uncertain parentage. Yep, you guessed it; he turns up at the far post
unmarked and rifles home. Ok, maybe you didn't get the precise details, but you got the
gist of it. Please Burnley fans, don't do it! How many times did we call Steve Bull and
what was his response? We were lucky if it was only one goal. Did we ever stop to think
that if we ignored him he might not try so hard? Try singing for our own players rather
than slagging the opposition. You never know.
Rowe scrambles in an effort from a corner,
mainly by fouling Crichton, but the ref doesn't give it (see earlier reference). I'm not
sure that that is the order in which the York goals were scored, but it doesn't really
matter. It was now raining quite heavily, they were 3-2 up, and time was running out.
Swanny was brought on up front in place of Eastwood as Burnley switched to 4-3-3 and threw
everything at York. Payton went off with a hamstring injury which was to keep him out of
Monday's game, but eventually Robertson (or was it Henderson?) managed to get behind the
defence and put a cross along the ground into the six yard box. Cooke missed it at the
near post as he and a defender threw themselves at the ball. This must have put Mimms off
as, instead of diving out and collecting the ball comfortably, he dived along his line,
allowing Armstrong, arriving at the back post, to head the ball from an almost prone
position back past him and only just over the line as Mimms lay helplessly on the floor.
UPDATE: Apparently Armstrong's goal has now been credited to Payton. As I said, I thought
he had gone off, but I do remember someone hammering the ball in, but like everybody else
I thought it was over the line. Just goes to show that it's not just the beer that affects
recollections of the game.
In the last few minutes either team could have
won, as there were mad scrambles in both penalty areas and Crichton pulled off another
great stop, but with our nerves shredded the referee eventually called a halt and we went
home happy. Not only satisfied with the result, despite leading twice and only drawing,
but looking forward to Lincoln at home on the Monday. It had been a thoroughly
entertaining game and probably the right result in the end.
Monday was a totally different kettle of fish.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot to say about the game except that we didn't play at all
well but I felt we still should have won. Reid was very unlucky with his first booking,
which seemed to be for refusing to back down from a forward having a go at him, and his
second booking was hardly a touch as he mis-timed a challenge on the half-way line right
by the touchline and had a tug at the Lincoln player. Having said that, if you've been
booked you should be more careful, and once again a Burnley player gives the referee the
opportunity to punish him.
Plus points from the game: Henderson's goal,
nicely taken, Maylett's turn between two defenders leaving them for dead (see later),
Ford's continuing improvement, Crichton's consistency and Swan's return. Minus points were
the result against the worst team in the division, Payton's absence through injury,
Brassy's and Cookie's continuing poor form and the sending off of Reid. Many people were
extremely upset about the game and the result, but even at the time I felt that was a bit
short-sighted, as even if we had only had Payton in, we would have won it, and with the
AGM and the shares issue all coming up in the next week, things were about to change for
the better anyway.
As we were walking off one of the old gits that
sit behind us said, "I won't be paying £170 to watch that crap next season." I
thought, good, because all you do is moan and it's making me sick. Five minutes into the
game and he was calling for Brassy to get off. From there it went downhill, but I did have
a laugh at his expense when Maylett received the ball by the touchline with two defenders
on him. He's 17 years old and has just come on as a substitute and the old git says,
"Come on then Maylett, earn your corn." He promptly twists in between the
defenders and he's away. After applauding and cheering I turn to my friend announcing
loudly, "I think he earned his corn there!" At least he had the decency to stay
quiet for a while after that. We got a point, it could have been worse.
Some things Burnley fans say and what they
really mean:
'We can still make the play-offs" - It's
not yet mathematically impossible.
'We ARE going to make the play-offs" - We
won last Saturday.
"He's no Ray Deakin" - He can pass the
ball on the floor.
'We are a sleeping giant" - I also believe
in Father Christmas.
'We're crap and we're going down" - We lost
last Saturday.
"Teasdale out" - I don't know who to
blame for this poor performance so I'll blame someone who didn't play and didn't pick the
team.
"He's no Terry Cochrane" - He has at
least a CSE in Woodwork.
"Get so-and-so off" - I know, we have
a wealth of talent in the reserves and youth policy, so why don't we throw some more
inexperienced players in, in place of these old-timers that I'm fed up of hating week-in
week-out.
"He's no Billy Hamilton" - He can't
hold his drink.
"I'm not paying to watch this crap" -
I'll be here in two weeks time to moan as usual.
'We're going nowhere" - We drew last
Saturday.
'We should be a Premiership club" - I'm
still taking the tablets.
Team: Crichton,
Pickering, Morgan, Ford, Brass, Reid (Henderson 89), Robertson, Armstrong, Cooke, Payton,
Eastwood (Swan 75). SNU: Vindheim.
