What a game! I thought it was a superb match.
The weather was one of those half rainy, half sunny days where the trees were shedding
autumnal leaves all the way en route between Clitheroe and Burnley. I'd called into the
Sparrow on the way for a few drinks, and then made my way to the match. I went into the
Club shop beforehand to treat myself to a Claret and Blue umbrella, but at £25.00, I
decided I'd write to Santa instead...
Got to the ground to find a pitiful number of City fans to be honest, for
such a big city, normally with a following to be proud of. They only half filled one block
of seats really, however before the game they were in good voice singing that World Cup
song 'nah, nah nah, na nah, na nah nah nah' ...err, forget it, it's not really coming
over. Bristol City were wearing white tops and black shorts with sexy silky clingy numbers
under their shorts. I noticed almost immediately their number 9, I'm not normally into
talent spotting at the football (cos I refuse to be a girly at the football, but hey, we
can all be forgiven one swoon from time to time). I gather he was the one that Stan tried
to sign earlier this week. Stan, sign him up! (Actually, I didn't think his football was
anywhere near as convincing as his sex appeal if we're being honest, and he missed a
sitter on goal later on.)
ANYHOW
, Burnley lined up as follows:
Crichton, West, Thomas, Davis, Smith,
Little, Cook, Mullen, Johnrose, Cooke and Payton. On the bench were Branch, Mellon,
Jepson, Brass and Lee.
Just before kick-off the reluctant Harry (my four year old) who really
hadn't been impressed at being dragged along to the game, said 'when do we all stand up
and be quiet?' The last two times he's been to the football with us, there's been a
minute's silence! I spent a bit of time explaining who Burnley were and who Bristol City
were. Then, can you believe this, he sang 'come on Bristol!' Err, Harry, I don't
quite think you've got the hang of this! (Am I raising a delinquent do you think?)
Kick-off
and Bristol City took the ball straight away
into our box; the ball moved around the pitch, but then after just 12 minutes or so,
Burnley fans were to witness some superb football by the Clarets. A partially dodgy
clearance in our box eventually found Steve Davis who took the ball the full length of the
pitch, to then have a shot which narrowly missed. The ball was passed about a bit, then
can't remember if there was a corner or not, but ultimately the ball found Paul Cook who had a superb shot at goal from about
30 yards out and it pounded into the back of the net. Superb! The fans in the Jimmy
McIlroy Stand will give a better account than me at the other end of the pitch, but from
where I was sitting, it looked to be a class goal. The crowd went mad, we were on top
after 12/13 minutes. Burnley 1, Bristol City 0. This spurred on the Turf Moor faithful to
do as Stan had requested on the radio last week and get behind the team. We managed a
chorus of 'Stan Ternent's Claret and Blue Army', and odd bouts of 'Come on You Clarets',
as fans tried to satisfy Stan's request.
My focus on the game wavered then as some bother in the Cricket Field
Stand attracted my attention. A Bristol City fan found himself being carted out by the
police and stewards, and the remainder of the fans being surrounded by stewards and
police. Not sure why this happened, but I had to smile to myself as the Bristol fans were
seen pointing furiously to the mob in the Longside who had perhaps been taunting them.
'Sir, Sir, it was them,' they seemed to be saying to the disinterested police who
eventually moved away. Ah well, that was a hell of a long trip for the poor fan who'd seen
all of 20 minutes of the game!
Bristol City certainly didn't roll over and die after our goal, and had
two or three chances which narrowly missed goal. One went wide, another just over
Crichton, and it was obvious they had done their homework, Crichton was a keeper to be
lobbed they had obviously been told, as two or three times their players tried to do just
that.
They had a corner and their player placed the ball out of the corner
triangle à la Ted McMinn. The Bob Lord faithful went mad. 'Cheat' they yelled furiously.
It was at that point I realised that I had Mr Angry sat in front of me, and wow, was he
angry! 'F**king cheating bar steward,' he yelled, his face contorted in fury. The ref
glanced over, but was not going to be swayed by the crowd. The corner came to nothing and
on we went.
Then Gorgeous number nine (swoon) missed an absolute sitter. He was one on
one with Crichton, but shot it completely wide, then went down injured. Mr Angry in front
of me got up out of his chair and yelled, 'Don't pretend you're injured, that was effing
sh*t!' I was quite relieved at this point that Harry was busy playing with his diggers and
tractors on his seat and not paying any attention whatsoever to the game. Mr Angry
continued, 'you're sh*t, sh*t,' he yelled, 'get up off the ground, you're effing sh*t!'
The ball was moving about with both sides having some good possession. It
was football from both sides, an absence of hoofing: this was football. Bristol City
looked reasonably competent, as did we. Smith for once had a shot on goal, which just
missed. We had a corner which Payton hit and would've gone in, save for the crossbar, and
really there were lots of chances on both sides. Mullin perhaps didn't have such a good
first half. West played much better than the past couple of times I've seen him. Stevie
Davis was solid, Cook was superb, did lots of running and commanded in midfield, and
Cookie ran his socks off, NOT getting caught offside in the process. In Smith's defence
(as I know some people will criticise him), he put in some good crosses today, he really
did. Payton played well as always, as did Thomas. At one point, Thomas was defending as
their big number 20 took the ball forward to goal, then the big bully knocked Thomas right
over, banging right into his chest and practically winding him. Now Thomas is no dwarf,
but this guy was massive, built like a brick you know what house. The Bob Lord faithful
yet again leapt up and yelled 'off off' etc. Mr Angry in front of me, was furious! 'You
dirty effing bar steward,' he yelled, his face once again contorted in fury. And then as
the ref had a few words with the protesting number 20 and let him go, not even booking
him, Mr Angry turned on the ref. 'You useless...' Etc, etc. By now, you're probably
getting the picture. This guy seriously needs to chill out; he'll have a coronary if he
carries on like this.
Thomas hobbled off, had some physio and then ran gingerly back onto the
pitch. The ball then went right through West's legs ('you great pillock' shouts you know
who in front of me), and then Bristol City missed another couple of chances and it was half
time.
Due to aggro getting Harry into the ground ('sorry, you'll have to pay
£13.00 for him, no concessions on match days'), I had forgotten to buy my usual Striker
lottery ticket, so I opted for a hot chocolate instead. The Longside Stand were giving
lots of warm applause to the two celebrity guests. 'Who are they applauding?' I asked the
old gent next to me. 'Yes it's a good game,' he agreed. Hmm. I waited until Andrew arrived
back from the loo to discover it was Pender and Deary who were in receipt of a hospitable
welcome back. Then perhaps the loudest cheer of the day (save for when Cook scored) as the
Commentator gave out the half time score Man City 1, Blackburn Rovers 0. The away fans, as
away fans do when this sort of thing happens, said in unison to each other, who? Who
indeed? At this rate, we won't be playing them next season, but waving to them on our way
up and their way down!
It was the second half and Burnley ran out first,
unchanged. Early on, Mullin got a great break with the ball, and ran the length of the
pitch speedily. I would have liked to see him finish it off, but sadly he missed it. I
don't know why, but he's not quite as on form as he used to be in my humble opinion. I'd
like to see him get a goal and give him some confidence. He certainly has the pace.
Bristol City then had a mega chance as the ball landed on the head of a player right in
front of goal. Somehow, he headed it into oblivion. The Burnley fans sighed in collective
relief.
Two minutes into the half, the Steward near me ushered in five
Footballer's Wives, just two rows right in front of me. You can spot them a mile off can't
you? .All size 8 (spit), all perfectly made up, all young, all having that 'Footballer's
Wives' look about them. I spent a happy two minutes trying to match the wife to the
player, but didn't have too much luck.
Anyhow, Burnley had started the second half brightly. Stan had obviously
cautioned them about giving away the lead as we had done against Brentford, and the
players came out looking for more goals. The changed formation that Stan has adapted for
the past couple of games was a much more positive approach and the players were going all
out to score again. Appeals for hand ball against a Bristol City defender on Payton in the
box came to nothing, and the Bristol City fans finding their voice momentarily again sang
'Sit down and shut up, sit down and shut up' to the Longside rent-a-mob.
Then Cookie scored a superb,
yes SUPERB goal. He whacked it in, right round their keeper and confidently into the net.
The Burnley fans leapt up in euphoric delight. 4.20pm and it was 2-0. Surely it was in the
bag now? 'Andy Cooke, Andy Cooke, Andy, Andy Cooke, he gets the ball, he scores a goal,
Andy Andy Cooke.' I glanced at the Footballer's Wives in interest. Any of them showing
gleams of pride in their eyes? None. Ah well.
More good football from both sides followed. Bristol City made a couple of
substitutions. Off went the big bullying number 20, off went the gorgeous sex on legs
number 9 (sigh) and on came none other than Tony Thorpe! Oh no, I thought to myself, he
always scores against us, without fail, which ever club he's playing for.
Stan decided to join in the substitutions and took off firstly, Cookie and
replaced him with Branch. Cookie got warm applause as he went off. I was a bit surprised
to see him go off as he had battled continuously throughout the game, but perhaps he's not
yet 100% fit. Branch jogged about aimlessly for a while. He seemed to be in defence most
of the time. He didn't touch the ball for the first ten minutes he came on. 'Branch,' I
yelled at one point, 'DO something!' . The Footballer's Wives exchanged glances in front
of me. Aha! Was there a clue here? Did one of them 'belong' to the unfortunate Branch?
Whoops if they did, it mustn't be nice to hear negative things about your loved one. I
tried to refrain thereafter, being a sensitive sort of a soul. I was conscious of the
Footballer's Wives (hereonafter FW's) in front of me. A guy to the left of me however,
wasn't so aware .'Branch you great ponce,' he yelled. I think it's his hairdo that elicits
that response, as well as his football of course.
Shortly after, Stan replaced Mullin with Mellon and Cook with Jepson. The
latter got rapturous applause as he's really made a difference in midfield for Burnley
since he arrived. The FW's clapped warmly. Was one of them a Mrs Cook? Still no obvious
clues.
Payton then got knocked over by one of their players, but it was obviously
looked worse than it was as he got up straight away. He tried really hard to get goal
number three, but sadly it wasn't forthcoming.
Suddenly it was the end of the game, a comfortable win by
the Clarets who looked, in my view, confident, largely competent and played some good
football. We have said a few times this season, that it is dire to watch. This wasn't dire
to watch, it was good to watch. Bristol City looked pretty good to me too though, they
just need some finishing practice. I wonder if Stan will buy their number nine? If I'm
being objective about this, much as he really was to sigh for, his performance on the
pitch was in my view, very average today. We don't need average really do we?
Nope, it was a thoroughly good game today. I really enjoyed it. As Harry
and I walked away from the ground, the heavens opened and it poured down. We got soaked
and suddenly I wished I'd shelled out £25.00 for my umbrella from the club shop after
all. Especially as I'd parked outside the Sparrow.
Anyway, bring on Barnet, and for once, let's do something in the Cup. Then
it's Wrexham at home again. It's tight at the top, and we need to keep winning.
Team: Crichton, West, Smith, Davis, Thomas,
Cook (Jepson), Johnrose, Mullin (Mellon), Little, Cooke (Branch), Payton. Subs not used:
Brass and Lee.
