I took my usual seat in the Bob Lord
stand as drizzly rain spread over a misty Turf Moor. I had just had ten minutes of abject
frustration as I tried to purchase a hotdog at the catering stand. Arrgghh! They are so
damned inefficient, one woman dealing with the hot food for ALL the tills; also, don't
they realise that child labour is illegal in this country? Or is that just me getting
older?
Anyhow, the Scunthorpe fans were in good tuneful form
and had come out in a reasonable number. The Turf looked much fuller than I had
anticipated it would do; the quid a kid ploy had obviously reaped its rewards and the
bottom tier of the Longside looked unusually full. What a relief - there's nothing worse
than seeing matches on Sky with six fans dotted about here and there in the seats near the
pitch. So a reasonably full Turf Moor, but a rather quiet crowd, which contrasted with the
lively Scunthorpe travelling faithful.
The players came out onto the pitch and the first thing
that was noticeable was the fact that the two teams were co-ordinating in their Claret and
Blue. They were us in reverse, which was perhaps a bit confusing at times. A minute's
silence was again impeccably observed by both sets of fans, this time for the dreadful
train crash at Paddington. People's faces were numb reflecting the horror of the pictures
we all watched on the news that week. As the whistle blew to end the minute's silence, the
horror of what had happened briefly evaporated as 10,000 fans cheered on their team with
the rousing passion that somehow seems to emerge from a minutes silence.
The Burnley team lined up, unchanged, as follows:
Crichton, West, Mitchell, Mellon, Davis, Armstrong,
Little, Cook, Payton, Branch, Smith.
Our bench saw the first team return of Paul Weller, who
was accompanied by Mullin, Cooke, Johnrose and Brass. The Scunthorpe side had John Gayle
on the bench.
Kick-off, and the ball was soon in front of the
Scunthorpe goal as Stevie Davis just hit the ball wide of goal. And to be honest, there
was to be a lot of that in the first half, a lot of misses in front of goal, a lot of oohs
and ahhs from the crowd. There are four women in their early fifties who sit behind me
sometimes, whose sound effects when the ball goes anywhere near goal are reminiscent of
THAT scene from 'When Harry met Sally' crossed perhaps with the 'oooh, suits you sir'
sketch from the Fast Show. They are quite amusing if a tad disconcerting.
Anyhow, the first half was a frustrating collection of
missed chances, balls just wide and some good saves by Perez, the Scunny Goalkeeper. I've
not had the benefit of seeing the game on Sky, so forgive me if this is a bit rusty (I did
pay more attention in the second half), but there was a great one handed save made by
Perez, and some other superb stops, but that wasn't the whole story. Although Burnley were
sharp during the first fifteen minutes or so, it soon became obvious that Scunthorpe would
not quite be the pushover we had perhaps expected them to be. West had a dreadful game,
sending one shot way over the cross bar, and fluffing a few balls. Branch was dire again;
Mellon at one point sent a superb ball forward for him which he couldn't get to due to
lack of pace. Davis made some errors, and Scunthorpe were fast and furious. It was obvious
that their two forwards were going for goal; they were both really good today and it was
only a matter of time. 25 minutes and Ipoua sent the ball crashing into the back of the
net after a defensive mix up allowed him through to blast Crichton. (If I was Stan, I'd be
very tempted to try to sign up Clint Marcelle; he looked pretty good to me and is only on
loan there.)
'Are you watching, are you watching, are you watching
Lincoln Town?' chanted the delighted Scunthorpe fans. It was 0-1.
Payton was then brought down as he approached goal and
despite three sides of Turf Moor shouting 'off' (and various other things), the ref
consulted the linesman and we were given a free kick, and the player stayed on the field.
Then Crichton saved a second shot at goal, but promptly
let go of the ball, and there were a few heart stopping seconds before he managed somehow
to send it back out for a corner. 'Dod-gy Keeper, Dod-gy Keeper' sang the Scunthorpe fans.
'Yes we know, yes we know' came the reply from the Bob Lord Faithful. The corner was taken
right in front of me, and so I smiled into the camera - well, you just never know! Luckily
the corner came to nothing.
Payton missed another very close header and the
pressure was on Burnley. The pressure, actually, was on Payton - too much pressure. If
Payton doesn't score, no one else will. He needs support and that support is not coming in
the form of Branch. He's too slow and too inaccurate.
Scunthorpe were really quick on the break and that was
what threw Burnley frequently. We often had the ball up in the Scunthorpe half, we lost
it, and before you could say 'Bloody hell' Scunthorpe had it back again and were going for
goal. They were quick and efficient and certainly better than their position suggests.
(Have I already said that? Hell, I'm getting repetitive.)
Anyhow, it was half time, the rain which had cleared
started again, and I decided a hot chocolate and a bar of chocolate was in order:
something to do with comfort food I think. My Striker Lottery ticket again came to nothing
and I took my seat to see a man on stilts entertain the children in the lower Longside.
I'm not much into men on stilts, but hey, anything is preferable to those dogs. Good to
see Paul Smith give John Gayle a hug as the players came out for the second half. I'm all
into male bonding sessions.
Mullin was on and Mellon was off, thank the Lord.
Mullin made an immediate impact in the box and we very nearly equalised. Davis sent one
way over again, Branch and a Scunny player were injured (although bizarrely they both got
up, then both went back down again in unison as they saw their physios run on - maybe it
was the physios' moment of fame or something), but both received treatment and were ok
again. Our equaliser came after a Paul Cook free kick fell for Payton who headed it
confidently into the back of the net. 'No Nay Never' sang the crowd, finding their
collective voice at last. Good to see a set piece come to something for a change. The
equaliser injected some atmosphere into the crowd and there was a few exciting minutes
where the Burnley fans thought that we were going to go on and take the lead. It didn't
happen.
The Scunthorpe goalie must have won an award today for
time waster of the season. The fans got suitably annoyed with him, but it made little
difference.
More heart stopping moments as Crichton lost the ball
and it swept in slow motion across the face of goal. Ooohhhh, breathed the woman behind me
in orgasmic relief.
Cook's corners were crap, West was not good, Branch had
another miss and for a while, Burnley played lethargic football. It was so annoying for
the fans who were urging them to go forward, and at one point, despite having four
forwards on (Cooke had come on for Armstrong, and there was Mullin, Branch and Payton),
the ball remained static in midfield.
Stan decided to make a change and took Branch off at
last, replacing him with Weller, who got warm applause from the fans. But Scunthorpe
continued to dominate. Their second goal came as no surprise really; we were not creating
at all, and their fast and determined forward went past about six Burnley players and
ultimately chipped Crichton. (I was at the other end and couldn't see properly, but was he
off his line again? It's not uncommon, let's face it, for Crichton to be at Sainsbury's
doing his shopping). It looked to me as if he was far enough off to be chipped by the
competent forward.
So it was 2-1 and the Burnley fans yelled their
frustration at the side who until last week were the promotion side and a force not to be
messed with. 'You're not singing anymore' sang the jubilant Scunthorpe fans. They were
truly delighted. Big John Gayle came on and the Burnley fans applauded him, but we were so
collectively miserable by this point that it faded into half hearted apathy that pervaded
the ground. He looked massive - has he had a growth spurt or what? Cookie nearly equalised
but it went over the goal and the Turf sighed once more in collective frustration.
Our defence looked disorganised, there was no
creativity and far too much onus on Payton, in the absence of Branch who really MUST
surely be left warming the bench for a while now to allow Cookie a chance to get back on
form. This was probably the worse we've seen Burnley this season. It was so annoying as,
if we had won, we would have been second and would have made a confident acknowledgement
that, despite the hiccup of the week before, we really were on for promotion this season.
Instead we are now one of a number of teams up there, in a closely packed top half of the
division. One more loss of three points and we'll start drifting slowly downwards I fear.
Really, if we don't go up this season in such a weak division, we'll never go up. Sorry to
sound so negative but I feel let down and depressed.
The final whistle blew and the disappointment and
frustration of Burnley fans resonated round the ground. Some even booed, but it came out
of disappointment more than anything, and perhaps some deserved anger at the performance.
No one had a good game really. Little got man of the match and perhaps deserved it, but
his performance was mixed. Smith made some good runs and had sent over some good crosses,
but was far from brilliant. Cook didn't shine today either. No one had a particularly good
game.
And so now what? We have to come back from this
somehow. We have to go into every game aiming for no less than three points every time. I
hope they watch themselves on video at least eight times and have a group analysis
session. I hope that Stan has the benefit of watching it to see where the weak links are,
so that he can put it right. For me, Branch and Mellon would not start the next match,
although here, to be fair, it was more than about just those two.
As we left the ground, the Scunthorpe fans sang their
heads off, the jubilation evident as they had netted three points at an away game after
having a bad start to the season. I remember that last year, you shout your head off
convinced that 'this is it now'. I'll be interested to see what they do from now on and
whether the fans' delight was temporary or not.
As for us... well, away at Millwall next. We will wait
and see what Stan the Man can pull out of the bag for that. We walked back through the
rain with that familiar feeling of despondency cloaking us. However, at least our video
hadn't worked, as we would have surely sat through it again once at home.
