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Ah, the beautiful game

As if we needed any, ample proof has been supplied in recent weeks that cack-handed football administration does not stop at Dover. It seems that whatever the FA and Football League can do badly, UEFA and FIFA can do just as poorly too. A couple of examples will suffice...

ITV – the home of football

Hardly a ripple seems to have greeted the recent announcement that ITV has retained the rights to broadcast Champions League games. Ah, do you remember hoping that ITV would be treated with pariah status by the football authorities? This is, lest you forget, the enterprise dominated by Carlton and Granada, which walked away from their commitments to three divisions of English football and effectively pauperised a whole tier of our national game. How we hoped for some solidarity for our friends in high places. The least we could expect was that Carlton and Granada would be shunned by football at all levels for what they had done. Surely no one would consider entering into a deal with them?

But money talks, of course. It's what the Champions League is all about, after all. UEFA had a tricky choice to make. It could have let the BBC show the games. But the BBC admitted they could not match ITV's offer. So, sold to the highest bidder, naturally, and let's hear no talk of morality, or solidarity, or unity, or obligations.

Thanks for your support, UEFA. I'm glad you appreciate the position we're in.

The referee is always right

It's official. That nice Mr Blatter says that from now on, the referee is always right. If you think a referee makes a mistake, you must be wrong. You see, it's too confusing when referees make errors, so from now on, they officially don't. Blimey, with blue sky thinking this crystal clear, Dave Moffett and Gordon Taylor had better watch out.

From now on, FIFA has announced that a red card means an immediate suspension. A player sent off is banned from the next game. This has been decreed so that there will no longer be time for an appeal to take place. Previously, a cooling off period had meant that wrong decisions could be questioned and overturned. Not any more. From now on, however bad the call, it stands. The worst, most pig-headed referee in the world (yes, you Mr Knight) is now officially beyond reproach.

The decision has been taken to uphold the integrity of referees. I must have missed the moment when it was decided that referees were the most important people in football, more significant than supporters or players. (How can a lazy, incompetent ref getting away with his cock-ups encourage respect for anything?) Because referees are making mistakes, and losing respect, the rules must, it seems be changed to protect them. It presumably didn't occur to anyone to try to find ways of helping referees to make fewer mistakes.

We're on our way to Wembley...unfortunately

Still, some English honour was retrieved with the announcement that work on a new Wembley stadium will go ahead. So this wretched white elephant, this Dome II, is to be built. Is there anyone who doesn't have a vested interest in this development who actually thinks it's a good idea that it's going ahead?

In an obscure and inaccessible suburb in North West London, the most expensive sports ground in the history of the world is going to be built. So expensive is this ground that around 18,800 seats will have to be sold to corporate guests. Yes, that's 18,800 – more than our average gate. Imagine a crowded Turf Moor in which every single person was a corporate freeloader and you have it. Hmm, wonder how many of them will be filled for the Third Division play-off final?

So expensive is this venture that the FA have had to guarantee income by contracting the England national side to play their home games in it for the first 30 years of its life. Assuming it's built on time (well, you never know) England will play at the new Wembley until 2036. Bloody hell, I'll have retired by then. And so that brief, imaginative and welcome period where the national side actually played its matches around the nation has come to an end. Imagine, we'll tell our children - people in the North and Midlands got a chance to turn out and see their heroes. The regionalisation of the national side also, of course, did much to dissipate the particular rancour and ugliness that accompanied England at Wembley. Ah well, all gone now, and for the great god of dosh, as usual.

Still, perhaps thirty years from now it will be something to look forward to. Imagine, though - after 2006, the next time England play a home game outside London, they will be including players who weren't even born when the new ground opened!

The cash-rich FA, those sharp-suited denizens of super-cool Soho Square, is throwing buckets of cash at this undesired, uncalled-for, unwanted venture. (Where is the demand for this?) At the same time, of course, we are told that the majority of first division clubs cannot guarantee to fulfil their fixtures, and a whole swathe of our game could fall into administration. Pity the body responsible for all levels of the national game can’t think of something better to do with its money.

Final score: England 2 Rest of the World 1 (three own goals).

Firmo
October 2002

As with all articles on the site, the views expressed in the comments section are those of the individual contributor, and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Burnley FC London Supporters Club