Exclusive - London Clarets bid to buy ITV Digital
BID LATEST... Following the rejection of our latest improved offer and the break-up of the company by the
administrators, the London
Clarets had put in a revised offer of £5 for the monkey only. If successful, we plan to burn the f*ck*ng thing.
BID LATEST... Benny says he's checked the bank statements and we can definitely go up to twenty quid!
The London Clarets have made a shock announcement
that they are to mount a bid to buy troubled digital television service ITV Digital.
Following the revelation that the company is for sale but that its massive, multi million pounds of debt to football will not be transferred as part of the deal, London Clarets Iron Chancellor Mike E Benyon has expressed a firm interest.
"We can definitely offer a fiver," said the boy Benyon, when we caught up with him for an exclusive chat last night. "And, although it would need some financial belt-tightening, we might be able to go up to a tenner. It's a fair price."
If the bid succeeds, ITV Digital subscribers can look forward to some changes to their service. Among planned sports events are Pro-Celebrity Drinking from Lewes, Kebab Racing from Leeds and Pointless Bickering from Grimsby. And football matches kicking off at three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon.
April 2002
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