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Online club shop
London Clarets take a brave step forward into the exciting world of e-commerce! Simply peruse the below catalogue, make your selection, send us the money and forget all about it.
Items are priced in Pounds Sterling. Payment in Euros, beer, or tins of Uncle Joe's Mint Balls is also accepted.
My Little Stan
He walks! He talks! He gets grumpy with the press! This 12" high realistic plastic figurine is every bit like the real thing, only in miniature. Pull the string and he utters one of six random phrases: "We'll crack on," "We'll see where it takes us," "We'll take it on the chin," "It was a bad day at the office," "We have champagne tastes on beer money," and "I resign."
Price: £29.99.
Ian Moore fitness video
How to get fit by running and running and run until you can run no more. Please note this does not come with the 'how to score goals' video.
Price: £19.99.
BNP Blinkers
Suddenly troubled by thoughts that perhaps all people of the world are truly one and only through individual acts of tolerance can we inch towards a more civilised society? Quick, reach for the blinkers, and slip them on. Phew! That's better. No need to think anymore. Hmm, that bloke's skin is a different colour to mine. Send 'em back!
Price: £11.99. For a limited period only, comes with a free baseball bat.
War and Peace
Leo Tolstoy's 19th Century Russian epic weighs in at an incredible 1,350 pages. Just the thing for whiling away the time on the Virgin London to Preston service.
Price: £9.99.
Official 1990 Blackburn Rovers membership card
Yes, we know that Blackburn fans simultaneously maintain the position of (a) claiming they're above having a rivalry with us while (b) spending a lot of their time on Burnley websites, so in a spirit of friendship we have the perfect gift for you too. Buy this and pretend you were one of the dozens who supported them before Walker set out about establishing the proof of the adage about a fool and his money.
Price: £299.99.
Railtrack bodybag
About to go hurtling around Britain's tied-together-with-bits-of-string-and-chewing-gum rail 'network'? About to wish you hadn't bothered to buy a return ticket? Don't leave home without your luxurious, fleecy Railtrack Bodybag. No soon-to-be-deceased discerning customer of our fabulously fatal still-privatised-after-five-years-of-Labour-rule railways should be without this executive accessory.
Price: £39.99 small, £45.99 medium, £49.99 large, £54.99 X large, £99.99 Jepson size.
Football League television rights
Yes, you can buy the rights to televise League football matches. No business plan, broadcasting ability or moral scruples required. One previous careless owner. Anyone want this? Oh go on, please.
Price: negotiable.
More items to follow... Contact us if there's anything else you'd like to see in the club shop.
Todd Morden
May 2002
As with all articles on the site, the
views expressed in the comments section are those of the individual contributor, and do
not necessarily reflect the view of the Burnley FC London Supporters Club
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