It was a disappointed but not unexpected wail
that greeted the disclosure of yet another Burnley pre-season programme that could be
charitably described as modest and more accurately as unimaginative and rather poor. The
usual middle-ranking Premiership side pays us a visit between another jaunt to the Isle of
Man and a puzzling commitment at Shrewsbury, where we usually come a cropper. A bit of
advice for those readers going to the Isle of Man: don't tell the locals you're off to a
gay meadow when you get home.
What Burnley don't seem to appreciate is that they have a
tradition of global exploration to maintain: Hungary and Austria in 1914, Italy, Germany
and Holland in the 20s, Spain in the 40s, Turkey, Mauritius and Madagascar in the 50s, the
USA and throughout Europe in the 60s, St Lucia and Scandinavia in the 70s. I mean, even
bloody Frank Teasdale agreed to a short tour of Russia. Younger generations of Clarets can
only listen with envy to the accounts of the more experienced fans who travelled to watch
Burnley in European competition. Even those around in the late seventies had the chance of
seeing Burnley in Majorca. I fully empathised with Firmo when he lamented the scrapping of
the Anglo-Italian Cup just when we might have been able to participate. The idea of a long
and winding inter-rail journey to see the Clarets in Italy is the very stuff of adventure.
Furthermore, when we see a redneck club like Stockport
County venture out for a fortnight's tour of China, surely the time has come for the
cosmopolitan sophisticates at the Turf to organise something beyond the Isle of Man? We
can have few gripes with the Kilby-Ternent regime. They have fostered a more participatory
ethos at the club, part of which has been a willingness to meet and talk to the fans - a
refreshing attitude indeed at Turf Moor. But there is, of course, an ulterior motive. The
board has relentlessly used these new channels of communication to both generate further
income for the club and to justify economic policies such as the new shirt sponsorship and
season ticket price rises. Money is clearly king, and presumably it is this consideration
that has something to do with the club's rather limited horizons when it comes to playing
friendlies, whether pre or post season.
However, ambition and the benefits that this impulse can
bring can be generated by a variety of methods. If Burnley want to reclaim their place in
the top division, I feel that in some way the club has to begin to walk the walk. In the
absence of Walker-esque piles of tax-free handouts, the club has to materially demonstrate
its intentions in other ways, and touring could be an option.
To illustrate what I'm getting at, I'll use an example from
British politics. At some point in the mid-90s, Prime Minister John Major had a much
publicised meal in a Little Chef, apparently turning up unannounced and tucking into a
full English breakfast. The tabloids chuckled and put Major onto their front pages in a
relatively friendly context. However, Michael Portillo famously criticised Major for the
stunt. Portillo argued that far from cementing his appeal as an honest Joe with no
nonsense tastes, the stunt undermined Major's authority as Prime Minister. Portillo's
reasoning was that since authority is rooted as much in psychological and visual pressures
as it is in physical ones, what remains essential are the trappings of state that come
with the position - the perks of the job. These create a vital illusion of power and
authority which must be maintained, even if they have no practical bearing on the tasks in
hand.
In an analogous way, visits to the Isle of Man and
Shrewsbury do nothing for Burnley's very real need to be seen as a big club seriously
challenging for the Premiership. It would be, I feel, a good exercise for Burnley to
involve themselves in a European tour where they would be feted, both as founder members
of the Football League with a great history, and as one of the top 25 clubs in the
country. It would be a great PR exercise that would generate vast amounts of positive
publicity. It would also do the players a world of good, particularly the youngsters. To
play for Burnley is to inhabit a goldfish bowl: intense, close scrutiny in the town,
practically no interest outside of it. Imagine flying off to the Continent and being
greeted by national media who are respectful and knowledgable, and by crowds who are
appreciative and uncynical. The players would grow, they'd get the bigger picture: that
they played for a club whose stature was international. The distribution of Burnley
merchandise to schools and children's charities would be an enormously appreciated and
long remembered gesture in places where things like leather footballs and shirts are
cherished possessions.
Such a tour - perhaps to relatively inexpensive (and warm,
beautiful) places like the Czech Republic or Hungary - would be part and parcel of Burnley
learning to walk the walk as serious bidders for a ticket to the Premiership party. In the
absence of higher wages, which the club can't afford, a European expedition would be an
alternative and far more enriching experience. It would broaden horizons, and communicate
to the players the stature they command as professionals with one of England's top clubs.
It would help create that psychological authority that holds teams together when opponents
challenge their right to be regarded as one of the best.
The idea of a European tour may sound terribly complicated,
but the organisation required isn't beyond many amateur clubs, some of whom embark
annually on a trip beyond our shores. Quite recently, a trip by amateur side Stockport
Town to the Czech Republic caused something of a stir as the hosts thought that their
guests were Stockport County. Fortunately for the Czechs, the Edgeley Park outfit were
touring the Far East, though the cricket score victories of the local Czech pros didn't
give the game away. They obviously know their Nationwide football in Prague.
I was part of a similar experice whilst at Portsmouth Poly.
I went on tour to Amsterdam with the football team, and the people in charge of organising
the trip had only managed to secure one game. In a last desperate throw of the dice, they
phoned Ajax in the hope of a game with the Youth team. Due to an error of interpretation,
our man (a robust Irish/Londoner called Rhino) found himself talking to a high-ranking
official of Ajax, as the telephonist had mistaken us for Portsmouth FC. Before the error
had been fully realised, a friendly had been provisionally pencilled in the diary, and it
was only when the official from Ajax started talking about sharing gate receipts that
Rhino twigged something wasn't right. If he'd had his wits about him, he could have still
got us a game by masquerading as Portsmouth's under-21 team or something. It would have
been nice to have been trounced by Ajax's youth team. Incidentally, Portsmouth Poly FC
remain, to my knowledge, the only team to be sponsored by their favourite curry house. As
our opponents from North London Poly, City University and so on all secured sponsorship
from the likes of NatWest and other corporations on campus, there was something oddly
satisfying about pulling on a shirt which bore the legend 'Standard Tandoori'.
Anyway, I shall end with a plea to the powers-that-be to
give us something a bit more imaginative than the Isle of Man. In the increasingly
frenetic all-year-round football world, the short window for pre-season friendlies remains
a precious time when clubs can travel and play football in new but relatively relaxed and
appreciative environments. It seems a shame that Burnley don't take advantage. I don't
suppose those fans who went to Hamburg or Naples in the 60s would be impressed with a
pre-season friendly in Belgium, but personally I wouldn't miss it for anything.
Phil
Whalley
July 2001
