The Heagin File
(musings of the self appointed
secretary of the 1987 back bench committee)
Old Boys
In the latest of an intermittent series of ‘where are
they now?’, happened upon an article in a local rag re the mighty Vince Overson. The
former Birmingham, Stoke and Claret defender is now player manager of Padiham in the West
Lancs League. This is in his spare time in between delivering letters in the Burnley area.
Back to his footballing roots. The only black spot in this happy story is that V.O.
considers John Bond to be a coach second to none! Think the sun has got to him.
Also hadn’t realised that the infamous and never to be
forgotten Tin Man had re-surfaced in the UK to play for Slough in the Conference, before
injury finally finished the former pin up star of the fashionable Kilt Club. Teeeeed
McMinn, Ted McMinn, Ted McMinn. Happy days.
Sad Claret
S.C. was leafing through the soccer bookshelves in WH
Smith’s as he is wont to do. As always looking for references to the beloved Clarets.
Chanced upon ‘I just can’t help believing’ by Charlie Connelly, all about
relegation battles, which he/she naturally assumed would have a few references to the
lads. The Orient season has a chapter with more reference to Lincoln than the Clarets,
whose supporters apparently thought the Orient game was fixed. Tell Orient that!
Particularly liked the Manchester United relegation story some twenty five years ago,
before Willie Morgan heard the Claret siren call and returned to the true faith.
The really interesting story which was new to me related to the
season 1897/98, when Burnley and Stoke played what is allegedly the most boring game of
all time. It has something to beat! This was the era of the mini league at the end of a
season to determine relegation. Four teams were involved in this league, and in the last
games to be played Clarets as 2nd division champs were playing Stoke. Both of
these teams had four points from their previous games, the other two teams had two points,
two teams to be in the next season’s 1st division. A draw was inevitable,
and with not a single shot registered in the whole game - shades of W. Germany/Austria -
the other two teams were relegated. One of the teams relegated? Yes, you’ve guessed
it, our dear neighbours from Deadwood Park. Wonderful.
Strangely, the following season, the Claret goalkeeper and captain
Jackie Hillman was involved, allegedly, in a bribery scandal. Two pounds offer for Notts
Forest to throw the game, increased to five pounds at half time when we were two down.
Claimed it was a joke, which the FA laughed off after banning him for the next season.
Took it seriously in those days!
‘The Times’ view of Burnley
FC
Assume that most will have read Firmo’s
article in the last magazine subtitled ‘Life outside the elite’, in which he
made reference to the patronising attitude of the national press to Burnley FC. Well,
anyone who bought a Times on the day of the Bristol Rovers game will see a good example.
Mr. Edgar had apparently been to the previous Stoke City home game (debatable) and
produced an amalgam of ancient clichés, which we have all heard before. Weight of
expectation, aspirations out of proportion with reality, decline with the cotton mills
amongst others. He then finished with the view that we play, long ball, route one, direct,
call it what you will. Glen Little please note. Stick to the so called elite, Mr Edgar.
Please.
1987 Back-bench Committee
Rumours of some interest in the history and activities of
the 1987 back-bench committee abound, and I have therefore resolved to put together a
brief note explaining same for a subsequent mag. Suffice to say, as a taster, that there
is a hint of the Orient in the birth of this august institution, and a possible link to
the once all-powerful Kilt Club, now sadly defunct. No funny handshakes here, but a rather
odd new membership ritual involving free beer for the current secretary of said committee.
OPTA Statistics
Not sure how these stats are put together, but Paul Cook is
the pass master of the second division, to date (end September), with 296 passes, a mere
30 more than Luton’s Matt Spring and 35 more than Brian Tinnion. Note 215 of these
successfully reached a team-mate! Mellon of course yet to reach double figures. Mitchell
Thomas has the third highest number of tackles (27), fouls committed(17) and fouls against
(17). The team overall has the most tackles (188), and the third highest number of passes
(2,099) and fouls committed (92). Wow!
Note Clarets now 15/2 to win the League and Payton is 6/1 to be the
top scorer in the Division.
The Thomas / Waddler Connection
I am sure most people will know that Mitchell Thomas played
in the same Spurs side as the detested Waddler during the 80’s. What you may not know
is that our very own centre back could have changed history by wiping out Mr Waddle during
a winter break trip to Bermuda. Mr Thomas, not known as one of the world’s great
golfers, decided to accompany Waddler and Grandma Eileen Hoddle to the golf course, and
once there, drove the ubiquitous motorised buggy for all three. He then, during the round,
decided to drive down a huge slope leading to a cliff edge, without mastering the
mechanics of braking. Hoddle and Waddle dived off just in time before the buggy embedded
itself in a tree at full throttle. Just think of the implications for the Clarets and
indeed the national team. Full marks to M.T. for effort anyway.
Hego
September-October 1999
