The Heagin File
(musings of the self appointed
secretary of the 1987 back bench committee)
Bit of a slightly abridged version of
the File this issue, as this is of course the time of the year for serious brownie point
accumulation. Haven’t even managed to finish off my review of last season yet for
which apologies to the Webmeister.
Annual General Meeting
Yet another splendid time had by all at this year’s
meeting, a record crowd by all accounts and wholesome entertainment. Barry Kilby was in
fine form and creditably answered all the questions that he could without ducking the
issues. Who was the mystery man at Stan’s house that very afternoon, Nicky Daws
hopefully or Lee Briscoe? What a difference in the club over the period of Bazza’s
tenure to date. Peter Pike as always weighed in with his excellent thoughts from the
football world both inside and outside the Clarets, in the difficult spot after the food
and drink break. All committee positions filled with the great and good (!), ready for the
new season. All excuses for non-attendance are of course in-admissible as evidence.
B*****d Rovers
Unbelievably this shower are odds on favourites to be
promoted from Division 1. More in hope I fear than expectation, rather in the spirit of
porcine aerodynamics. Will there be anybody to watch this bunch of overpaid clodpoles, as
their number of season tickets sold roar well in to four figures. Wow. Do yourselves a
favour Rovers supporters (sic), and call upon whichever God you feel closest to and wish
that the Turf Moor gates open to you and allow you to repent your sins.
Where are they now?
Noted recently by our Sun-reading Chairman Cozzo. Former
footballer turned policeman receives bravery award in Gwent. None other than Mark Kendall,
no less. Footballer is a euphemism obviously. Couldn’t catch anything when he was
playing, hope he is more successful as a fuzz. Mark Ford, remember him? Well the boy
returneth from boring Belgium, and as with all Stan’s rejects, has disappeared down
the divisions. Torquay by all accounts, which is a very nice place to retire to. Danny
Sonner has been released by the Owls. Still can’t believe that the DS that I saw many
years ago playing for the Clarets went on to play in the Premier League last season. Must
have improved an awful lot. Finally Tom Cowan off to Cambridge, which is a shame. Quite
liked him, but he obviously didn’t get on too well with Stan.
News from Number 10
Assume most people will have seen the Beeb’s
documentary on the Downing Street media machine featuring Keighley’s most famous
Claret. How many Claret mementoes did you spot? I got three, but could be a bit low. Spied
the aerial photo of the Turf, on the wall of his office, together with a playoff final
picture featuring Mr Eyres, if I am not mistaken. The third may well have mystified the
members of the Sunday media Lobby, who were lambasted by Mr Spin whilst drinking his early
morning cuppa from the Claret coffee mug, which of course we all have and indeed cherish.
Don’t remember much about the programme!
New Boys
Welcome indeed to the new blood, Messrs Lee Briscoe, Phil
Gray, John Boardman, and the not so new legendary Jack Hixon. JB apparently impressed on
trial with the reserves last season, and has a good pedigree earned in the Liverpool
Academy. LB is a player of unfulfilled real talent according to Peter Jackson of ex
Huddersfield manager fame, and with good Premiership experience to boot. Unfortunately The
Waddler has blessed him with the Kiss of Death by publicly confirming this talent, which
probably means his future may lie with Rochdale et al. Phil Gray I quite like, very sharp
and will keep Cookey very much on his toes.
Jack Hixon is the man known to all soccer fans for unearthing the
star striker who was Alan Shearer, and the Legend that is Steve Davis. What is probably
not apparent to all Clarets is that Jack was the Burnley North East scout in the 50’s
and 60’s and is responsible for bringing Arthur Bellamy, Ralph Coates, Brian
O’Neil, Stan Ternent and many others to the Turf. He is 80ish now, but that sort of
knowledge and skill is of course priceless.
Season 2000/01
Finally
of course cannot leave the final Heagin File before the new season without wishing The
Team the best of luck. It will be a season of consolidation and all of us supporters
should bear this in mind should the odd dodgy loss manifests itself. Support is the key
word here. Here’s to comfortable mid table.
Hego
August 2000
