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Tales from the Throne Room
(musings of the self appointed secretary of the 1987 royal back bench committee)

Well here we are back again after a short sabbatical to charge the literary batteries. Well, not really - I just missed the deadline.

B*****ds Game

Even now I’m finding it hard to come to terms with the humiliation of it all, heaped in huge great bucket-fulls, nay coach fulls, on the poor wretches who were there at Deadwood Park. It is not so much the loss, and to a slight extent not even the score (it could have been 10-0) that is the problem, it was the way the players (?) didn’t seem to be bothered on one of the biggest days of a Claret supporter's life. I admire the way the team has come back after the defeat, but I can’t forgive them. I’m glad I don’t have to suffer this in Burnley, but even down here people I hardly know have approached me since expressing sympathy, having specially watched the game. This makes it worse. Give me a bit of good natured michael-taking any day. I will try to comment properly and rationalise the day some time over the summer break, as it is too early yet to be sensible.

Where are they now?

I used to quite like Paul Barnes at the Turf, but Nuneaton Borough seems to be an odd place to land. Steve Harper decided he would rather be paid to play football so left the play off picture at Hull to flounder at Darlo. Alan Lee still keeps seeing red waved in front of his face, and I don’t just mean the Rotherham shirt. He could be the only one of Stan’s rejections who actually returns to play at our level next season. The gypsy Mark Ford has rejected the beaches of Torquay for the beach (pitch) at Darlo. I’m sure Nicky Walker was on the screen recently keeping for some strange Scotty team in a cup tie against Rangers. Chris Vinnicombe participated in an FA Cup semi-final, and played well. Last but not least Mr Eyres continues to prosper at Nationwide level, scoring goals at Oldham. What a sound piece of business that £50,000 looks like now Waddler!

Steve Davis (aka The Legend)

Saw recently in ‘Total Football’ magazine, an article which epitomises all that was wrong at the Club in the mid 90’s. I quote the following from Steve, who at the time was at the bottom of the Claret pay ladder as Captain, with Adie Randall (Player of the Year):

  • After just being relegated, I was probably a bit outspoken about the fact we hadn’t made a big enough effort to stay in the league.

  • The drive and ambition from the boardroom wasn’t there at the time, although with a little more effort on their part I would have stayed.

  • The club did make an offer, but they certainly didn’t bend over backwards to keep me, and that was the disappointing thing.

  • I asked the Chairman if that was their final offer, and I never heard anything back. Right then even though it was a massive wrench I knew I had to leave.

  • I wanted to play here throughout my career, but my principles wouldn’t allow me to be trampled all over.

I make no comment as ‘The Legend’ is one of my ultra favourites, except to say that my opinion of that particular ex Chairman is just as low now as the day he issued his solicitor’s letter to the London Clarets for some perceived slight on his character.

House of Commons

What an absolutely top day the HOC dinner was. Congratulations to all who organised this, and in particular Peter Pike who facilitated the venture. Happy 25th anniversary to us all. Commiserations to those who couldn’t make it. Even she who must be obeyed (SWMBO) managed to pop along to the event, and was most surprised to be sat opposite the BFC Chairman and his wife. As always both of them were in fine form (BK is slimming apparently), but were probably confused as to what their future duties might be in the future as Honorary Vice Presidents of the Club. Hmm, a little thought required here. My favourite part of the day, amongst many, was the good-natured sparring between Tommy Cummings and Ralph Coates about the teams that they played in at the Turf. This ended with the former noting that "at least we won something." The morning after headache was well worth it.

Foul Language

This subject has been done to death over the last few months, but after the recent match at Deadwood Park, I wish to add just a few comments. Much as it grieves me to say it, I am very much in the Webmeister’s camp on this one. I do also happen to be the father of a young football-loving son, who does not watch football live, not just because of the foul language. However, my point relates directly to the official club response by Andrew Watson to the ‘good’ behaviour of the Claret fans at the b*****rds game. My response is that he wasn’t sat where I was in the away end! The racist chants from more than half of the away end made me sick, and after a particularly loud and solid start to the ritual chanting, we completely lost whatever moral high ground we purport to have in this fixture. There are I feel a few points to be made here:

  • AW should be sure of his facts before providing such a high profile club statement, which ostensibly approves this racist behaviour.

  • How on earth can the Club in their strictures equate whatever foul language (definition please) might be to the racist problem?

  • With half of Lancashire Constabulary at the match, why was no action taken? Are they all deaf?

Thanks and Congratulations

Anyway, that’s enough of the soapbox. Almost final comment must be belated congratulations to NTG on his award for Nationwide January Save of the Month. This little gem saved us a point at Gillingham, and was top class. Final comment must be on Chris Brass. Anyone who read this man’s comments after his departure to York will know that he has been and will remain a loyal Claret. Not good enough at this level maybe, but good luck for the future, and thanks for the efforts over the years.

Here’s to the playoffs (oh okay, next season).

Hego
May 2001

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