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In Pursuit of Brownie Points
(musings of the self-appointed
secretary of the 1987 royal back bench committee)
Greetings from foreign climes, in pursuit of the wherewithal to attend yet more Claret games this season. The fixtures are out, and expectation is high, although a Sunday 6.15pm start away in Sheffield is hardly the ideal occasion to launch the Claret Bandwagon. Welcome also to the newest member of the back-bench committee, the erstwhile Travel Secretary, one Johannes Pfeffer.
Player of the Season 2000/01
It was particularly interesting to look at the choices made by the other supporters clubs in the Player of the Year awards last season, where all the plaudits went to NTG and Paul Weller. This gives even more credence to my view that Woody’s London Claret scoring system provides the correct result over a whole season. Although Paul Weller scored highly in our system, NTG was less so, which accords with my memories of the season. Coxy obviously suffered a little due to his absence on Caribbean holiday at an important time for votes, but deservedly won our award for consistency across the whole season.
Interestingly, in the neutral 4-4-2 magazine, the readers votes across the whole of Division One put Steve Davis in 19th position and Glen Little 40th, which is presumably how away fans see our strengths.
Hego’s Season 2000/01
I actually managed 26 games last season, of which we won half, which is something of a points record for me travelling from my Godalming lair. I have to say that I enjoyed virtually all of these games in this outstanding season, with one or two very notable exceptions. One of the real downsides, however, was the postponements which were a farce in this high technology era. The Scunthorpe fiasco in particular cost me literally, by incurring speed plod’s wrath following an unusual lack of concentration. Game of the Season, the recovery and character shown in the Preston home win. The B****rd away game, one of the lowest points of my soccer watching life.
Smart Arses
Recently borrowed 4-4-2 magazine (glossy premier league orientated guff) from Sad Claret, which surprisingly had been purchased rather than briefly scanned during lunch times at WH Smith’s. Therein was reference to chaps with degrees in our beloved game. Following on in the noble footsteps of one Marlene Beresford, not quite the attainment of a safe goalkeeping qualification from the University of Brierfield, but accountancy for Mr Cox and Sports Science for Mr Johnrose. No examples from Deadwood Park of course, as you would expect.
Sports Ministers
As a breed, I generally tend to ignore comment relating to these people, but I couldn’t resist scanning a recent article in the Fascist Graph relating to the demise of Kate Hoey. I quote: "Maybe she didn’t support Burnley (dear to the heart or what there is of that vital organ in the breast of Alastair Campbell)." Seems like a pretty good reason to me!
Room 101
Strange that two of my favourites, condemned forever to the room, have hit the news at opposite ends of the spectrum, prior to the start of the season. Love him or leave him, Kurt Nogan was one of the most naturally gifted strikers we have had at the club in the last decade or two. He entered the room by completely wasting that talent, and has now met his denouement at the tender age of thirty. Now given a free from Cardiff, his home-town club, that international call up looks decidedly long distance. League of Wales it is, then. Nogan, you’re a prat.
Unbelievably, the second of my selections has found his way in to the managerial hot seat at West Ham. One or two jellied eels too many down Essex way, methinks. Bottom by Xmas with a bit of luck, and unemployment for the Prince of Darkness where he belongs. Note that he doesn’t show Burnley on his CV.
Fancy a Bet
Well if you do fancy a bet, then our odds to win the division outright are down at 20-1 with the two Sheffields and Millwall. This puts us unsurprisingly in mid table, but at least better than the pre-season relegation odds last season. Replacing the Clarets in the basement are the usual small town suspects, including Ian Moore’s dad’s lot from over t'Pennines. Alan Lee to score against us on his return? Keegan’s boys are favourites, so let's see if he can crack this one before he quits.
Where are they now?
Tinman assisting Mark Wright at Oxford. How about them away in the Cup, incorporating a ground tick and the reformation of the Kilt Club? The Conference has swallowed Paul Barnes, Steve Thompson, Lee Howey (found his level at last) and Mark Monington. One assumes that Scotty will join them ere long. Mark Winstanley has hung on to the eternal escalator that is Carlisle, and of course Admirable has slung his hook to Norwich, which in my view was a pretty nifty piece of business by Stan and Bazza.
The New Season
A quick look at the fixture list has us down for a fairly tough start in August with lots of non Saturday matches. The first half of the season also has most of the tough away games, and consequently the easier home games. This leads one to the view that we need to be in prime position by the end of 2001 to be successful, with an accumulation of home three pointers. I wonder if Stan’s prospective points chart is in agreement.
Finally I think it is worth stating the point that the road to the play-offs, and indeed the Premiership, is not a motorway. It has traffic lights and a highway code, and we simply cannot press the accelerator flat to the floor and drive wildly to the destination. We are ‘serious players’ in this division now, and will not be underestimated, as I think we were at times early last season. The playoffs are a serious goal, but it will not be a disaster if we do not get there. Remember that the Roeder to nowhere was on the horizon not too long ago.
Hego
September 2001
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