The season is not yet a week old and already Gary the
postman has begun to taunt me! Not only have I had to tolerate his permanent grin all
summer after Watford's promotion, but today he has been quick to rub salt into the wounds
after our first (and I hope last) thumping of the season. The message on my Burnley
Express read " 5 ----- 0! Still, it's an improvement on last season."
I have replied immediately by compiling a comprehensive list of
reasons which may account for this disastrous performance.
1. We were lacking in composure and were taking a little more time
than anticipated to get into our stride after the summer break.
2. We were purposely creating a false sense of security as we are
going to put six goals past them in the second leg.
3. We were giving the opposition shooting practice to enable our
Lancashire neighbours to remain in division 1.
4. We put out our reserve team, in order to give the first team a
well earned rest, after the draw at Wycombe on Saturday.
5. We thought that we may as well get one of our heavy defeats of
the season out of the way.
6. During training on Wednesday the team paused to view the eclipse
and as a consequence their colour vision became blurred. They therefore had difficulty in
distinguishing between the colours of the strips.
7. We requested that City gave us a good hiding because last season
it woke us up and we went thirteen games without defeat!
8. Burnley have acquired a psychological problem when confronted by
Man City and may require professional counselling to overcome the condition.
COME ON YOU CLARETS!
Let’s have some of that fighting spirit that you showed when we
played Fulham last May.
