Our intrepid reporter Robbie Nudd
goes behind the scenes at a recent home game to discover who's hot and who's not, and find
out if you can get a decent pint of isotonic Boddingtons in the player's bar...
Hmmm, where shall I start? Ah, there's John Francis...
"How’s it going Super John? Good, good, fancy a drink?"
"What a goal by the way... didn't come off the shinpad by any chance did it?"
"Oh don't be like that, only a joke... OK, talk to your mates then."
Oh well who's next?
"Jamie... over 'ere mate. Hey that was a brilliant run near the end"
"You know, when you powered through midfield, beat the offside trap, ghosted to
the far post and disappeared up the tunnel, turned the game I thought."
"No, I wasn't taking the piss, no need to use language like that."
"I suppose an autograph’s out of the question?... Jamie, Jamie… I'll
take that as a no then, shall I?"
"Liam mate, can I have yours?… Hey, you don't look as fat in real life. Is
the diet working?"
"Look if I did that with my programme you couldn't sign it could you... well suit
yourself."
"Eyresy my main man, just sign that mate. Its for the kids, you know. I think
you're overrated meself."
"Ere, you could have had my eye out with that pen, only being friendly, too highly
strung that's your trouble."
"Stanno you're looking good this season."
"Don't mention it pal, mind you I could look good in this crap division. No don't
go... Stanno... I'll get me own drink then, shall I?"
"Look, get out of the way grandad, I'm trying to get to the bar."
"No I don't know who you are, just move please."
"You nearly took Carlisle to Wembley, well that’s nice, but I'm not sure
coach drivers should be in here at all let alone drinking, do you?"
"You could be the new manager, how many have you had, mate?"
"Well if you're not going to move I'm off, see you old timer."
"Middlewho?... Yeah, right, bye."
Silly old sod, you can't be Burnley manager if you've had a track by The Fall named
after you, everybody knows that.
