Reports from the Palace
23 November 1995 and Chris
Chadburn sees constitutional history in the making.
We've been waiting expectantly for 33 minutes
and at last see our hero rise majestically to cause maximum damage to the team who have
been in the driving seat for the last 16 years. A strident female voice fills the
air…
"Peter Pike!"
"Do the Minister and the Government feel any members regret about the
changing role of the building society, which is losing contact with its customers and
members and is more concerned about the shareholders? We all used to believe that the
building societies were on our side, but now they are concerned only about profit, and
about becoming banks."
What a blow from the Claret and blue heavyweight. How on earth are they
going to recover from that left hook?
Mrs Angela Knight (Economic Secretary to the Treasury and in serious need
of a new hair-do):
"The hon. gentleman must realise that a great many people have
benefited from the decisions made by building societies in regard to conversion and
flotation. What societies need to do is assure their members of the importance of staying
mutual. I urge them to do so, and hope that the hon. gentleman will do the same."
"Ian Bruce!"
"Does my hon. friend agree…"
And that's that. 150 years of working men co-operating to keep themselves
off the streets or out of the workhouse dismissed in a blur of cash bungs and a handful of
Abbey National shares. This is called at parliamentary debate and if you're catching
snatches on Radio Four or on News Ten it's pretty deadly stuff. Live it makes excellent
theatre - not so much "Oral Answers to Questions – Treasury" from which
these highlights come but Prime Minister’s Question Time is electric. More of that
anon.
My wife Andrea and I had spent an enjoyable couple of hours in the morning
on 'Peter Pike's Claret and Blue Army Tour of the Palace of Westminster (1995).' Peter had
suggested that if we wanted to see the Commons in operation we should approach our own MP
for tickets to the strangers Gallery and Virginia BottomIey duly delivered the goods. She
actually got us tickets as ‘Distinguished Strangers’, but it turned out Jeffrey
Archer was sitting by us so that clearly didn't amount to much.
Very few football references in the tour (actually there were none) so you
can make do with some trivia from the colour brochure:
I could go on.
There was actually a vague soccer reference just before John Major's
entrance when Michael Jack referred to the opposition's "fantasy league economic
approach… which produces fantasy jobs." Fantasy Football has done wonders for
the Daily Telegraph's sales and it is probable that the supremos at the Financial Times
are at this very moment looking at Fantasy Economics and the relative values of PSBR as
against Sound Money or Income Tax Cuts.
Anyway, John Major starts ducking in response to bouncers from Blair and
co when he gets a googly from Tony Banks. "Does the PM agree with the Minister of
State for the armed forces that Princess Diana is in an advanced state of paranoia?"
Nice one.
"I have no intention of being drawn into making any comments in the
aftermath of last Monday."
Plain enough, but then five minutes later Andrew MacKinlay asks,
"Will the PM sack the Minister of State for speaking out of turn against the Princess
of Wales?"
"I do not expect any more comments Madam Speaker."
Madam Speaker then blows up for time and 95% of the members and the crowd
stampede out of the exits. I must admit I took John's words at face value: that is, he was
making no comment. How wrong can you be?
We get home to find PM's Question Time the lead item on the 6 O'clock
News. You see, what the PM meant was he had given Nicholas Soames an almighty bollocking,
or to quote next day's Guardian, "The PM's seven words were of the taciturn variety,
yet translated into enough constitutional precedent to keep Lord St John of Fawley in TV
fees for a year. The PM reproving a senior minister, the grandson of Winston Churchill,
for slandering the estranged Princess of Wales! If Michael Dobbs had written it you would
think he had finally flipped."
So we see constitutional history in the making and didn't even know it.
Thanks anyway Peter Pike. An excellent day out, but I will end on a chilling note from
Spike Milligan. "One day the don't knows will get in and then where will we be?"
Chris Chadburn
December-January 1995-96
