Okay, we’ve now ticked the ground, but
the regrettable inadequacies of this drinking guide still stand. These are partly because
on the opening day of the season I was somewhat preoccupied with my role as the wearer of
Barry Kilby’s coat, and the pre-match publicity commitments which occupied time
normally given over to drinking, and also because of the highly Manchester-centric pre-
and post-match drinking plan we adhered to. This strategy was, of course, devised mostly
in the light of the known deficiencies of the area around Bolton’s ground, i.e., the
pubs don’t sell proper beer and away supporters often can’t get it them.
It’s still, therefore, not possible to make recommendations of pubs close to the
ground.
Of course, you know that Bolton don’t play in Bolton. In this brave
new world, Bolton play in Horwich. (There already was a perfectly respectable non-league
club in Horwich which, indignant at the intrusion, upped sticks and moved to become Leigh
RMI, for whom, incidentally, Andy Farrell and Mark Winstanley now play.) And I know little
about Horwich. Except for the game, I have never been there, and I still haven’t had
a drink there.
Even then, I only went to Burnden Park once, and that a long time ago. I
have no recollection of any pubs, or of anything except that the confident Victorian
architecture of the town centre struck me as somehow too big for the place. I do recall
that the ground was a shed, and this might just be one of those rare occasions when the
shiny new out of town stadium actually represents an improvement on hallowed tradition.
From outside it’s attractive and very out of place, all white and bendy, and once you
get to your seat, it’s a great view, with the stands topped by weird spider webs, but
in between, the inside is plain and functional, with breeze blocks much in evidence.
But it could be worse. Out of town and doubtless handy for any number of
dull motorway junctions it may be, but at least they built it close to a railway line and
then put in a station. Horwich Parkway is the stop, and is a few minutes from, and within
sight of, the ground. It is served by trains from Manchester and Preston, although the
timetabling seems to be fairly unsympathetic. [Visit the Railtrack website at www.railtrack.co.uk if you want to check train
times.] Trains from Manchester will take you through Bolton itself, so if you’re in
the mood for it, you could probably hop off and get a few in there for old time’s
sake. Bear in mind, of course, that these kind of North West matches are always heavily
policed, there is some history and both clubs have their share of idiots, encouraged
recently by the stupefying trend to glorify 70s-80s violence, for which the internet acts
as a conduit. Discretion would be advised on that train from Bolton. Given that the train
originates from Manchester Airport, and as it had only two carriages on our visit, it was
already fairly full when we caught it from central Manchester, with many bags on seats. It
filled up completely when we got to Bolton, with one or two Bolton fans commenting on the
apparent lack of Burnley supporters on the train. We were just keeping quiet and looking
out of the window at the miles of countryside after Bolton, in the middle of which this
ground suddenly appears. As it happened, they were a non-aggressive bunch, but there was
no police presence on the train, and in other circumstances it could have been hairy.
After the match, as we tore across the dual carriageway to the station for the early
train, there was definitely some hostility from the home fans. There was a substantial
police presence around the station, and mystifyingly also at Bolton station, where many
home fans disembarked but surely no away fans, but again, the train itself, or at least
the part we were in, seemed to be unpoliced. After match drinking in the area may be even
more of a problem than before the game, and as early a train as you can get to somewhere
better may be your best bet.
In compiling this guide, I turned to a number of familiar sources. I
don’t think I’m giving too much away if I say these things generally follow a
standard procedure: 1) Look at the sacred CAMRA Good Beer Guide [for more information,
visit CAMRA’s site at www.camra.org.uk]. 2) Go
to Stanford’s travel shop and buy an A to Z (although this time my mission was
pointless, as the only map I could find of the area in which the ground lies was in a
deluxe spiral bound book of everywhere in Greater Manchester – as if to reinforce
where it isn’t, Horwich is beyond the reach of the Bolton A-Z – and I
wasn’t going to shell out twelve quid for the handful of readers who visit these
pages). 3) Visit the excellent Internet Football Ground Guide [www.footballgroundguide.co.uk], which
provides smartly assembled and easily digested chunks of information on every ground in
the league. 4) Visit the less than excellent Football Fans’ Guide [http://start.at/the.pub], which never tells you much
and still has Burnley in the second division. 5) Remember to take a look at the fledgling
Football Fans Away Guide [www.awayguide.org.uk],
a promising new site aimed squarely at helping away supporters (and thereby pricking my
conscience that I still haven't supplied the promised Burnley information). 6) Do as quick
a trawl as I can get away with of the inevitably disappointing range of team sites (and
they’re an a less inspiring bunch than normal, with most of them banging on about the
‘Reebok’ stadium but little else - the official site [www.boltonwfc.co.uk] is a bit crap and many of the
unofficial ones are out of date, although ‘Bolton Wanderers’ [www.boltonwfc.freeserve.co.uk] –
hey, catchy name - seems to be the pick, Wanderers Ways [www.wanderersways.com] scores points for carrying
a rudimentary pub guide and the London Whites [www.londonwhites.co.uk]
is one of the few London supporters clubs to have a site, which is not bad). 7) Check to
see if the local CAMRA branch has a site (they don’t). 8) Briefly bother with the
online Good Pub Guide (not to be confused with the Good Beer Guide) [www.goodguides.co.uk] to see if there's anything
listed (and there never is, because they're only interested in picture postcard country
pubs, having, for example, precisely no entries for Burnley). Then, finally, cobble the
half-baked results together with a generous sprinkling of disclaimers.
So here we go. The ‘Reebok’ – and don’t you just love
sponsored ground names - forms part of Middlebrooke, a ‘retail park’ – a
loathsome combination of words – which also includes several new plastic food and
drink emporia. These include the Millhouse and a ten-pin bowling alley, the Hollywood
Bowl, which contains a microbrewery! A Bolton source tells me that the bowling alley
is the only source of real beer on site. Wanderers Ways describes the Millhouse as
"very full on match days" and another bar, Old Orleans as "full on
match days". All these are reported as being about five minutes walk from the ground.
The Internet Ground Guide advises that these are really intended for home fans only but
away fans without colours should get in, although other sources seem less sanguine. The
Away Fans Guide also lists Mamma Amalfi Café Bar, Original Brew Bar, Bennigans
and Jefferson's. How much fakery can you stomach? Too many bars and cafés, not
enough pubs. They also mention the Horwich Park Inn, a food oriented pub, which is
alongside Jefferson's between the railway station and the ground. What grim dystopian
vision is all this?
‘Bolton Wanderers’ has a map of the area. Essentially, the
motorway and railway station are west of the ground. Chorley New Road and Chorley Old Road
are to the east, running up to the town of Horwich in the north. Lostock Lane is south
east. I’m a bit crap at giving directions, as you might be able to tell, so go and
look at their map [www.boltonwfc.freeserve.co.uk/stadium.html].
The Beehive on Chorley New Road is said to be about ten minutes
walk away, but is also described as being for home fans only, and according to the Away
Fans Guide, is a big steak cum wacky warehouse kind of place. With that description, you
wouldn't think they'd need to turn people away. However, some Clarets I know did get in
before our game, and apparently it serves real Tetley bitter. Twenty minutes distant on
the same road, the Greenwood is reckoned to be somewhat mixed, but mostly home
fans. The CAMRA Good Beer Guide’s one entry for Horwich is also on Chorley New Road,
although as it’s at number one, it’s probably up near the town and an
unspecified walk away. It’s called the Crown Hotel and it’s described as
a big pub with Holt’s beer, which is both dirt cheap and excellent. Barnstormers
on Lostock Lane is said to be ten minutes away and "welcomes away supporters"
according to Wanderers Ways. The Internet Ground Guide mentions the Bromilow Arms,
also on Lostock Lane, five minutes walk away. Naturally, I don’t have any information
about the quality of most of these houses or the beer available. Neither do I know why
football fans tend to refer to Bolton as ‘Notlob’ – although it is one of
those words which sound good to say – but that is a separate matter.
As well as Holt’s, you might get lucky and get some of the other
local beers such as Hyde’s, Lee’s and Robinson’s. The local Bolton brewer
is Bank Top.
The Good Beer Guide also lists quite a few possibilities in Bolton. Those
close to the centre would appear to be the Clifton Arms on Newport Street, close to
the bus and railway station, which promises Moorhouse’s Premier, the Dog and
Partridge, Manor Street, which is a Thwaites house, Hen and Chickens,
Deansgate, close to the bus station, and also similarly handy for transport the Sweet
Green Tavern on Crook Street, where again you’ll find our very own
Moorhouse’s Premier.
That said, the Football Fans’ Guide suggests that Bolton’s
reputation for violence means that away supporters won’t be admitted to town centre
pubs. Bouncers rule, and the above listed may well be closed. The only pub they recommend
is the York on Newport Street. According to Wanderers Ways, this sells Burtonwoods,
and they also mention the Clifton Arms too.
As for the Football Fan’s Guide view of drinking close to the ground,
they reckon that anyone without colours who can "walk confidently" will get in,
and only Man U and Wolves fans might encounter problems. All very well, but once again,
nothing about the quality of drinking available. They even suggest heading for the plastic
glasses of cold fizz at the ground. Some of us want a bit more than that from our long and
expensive days out. As it happens, you might not even get that. In the upper tier the
concourse is very narrow and both bars and toilets were too small and hard to get close
to. Apparently people were queuing twenty minutes for a pint of gassy crap. Signs of
cutting corners here.
When it comes to food options, you know what they’re all going to
say, don’t you? Lots of fast food places, chain themed restaurants (even, apparently,
‘a Wanderers-themed Macdonald’s’, the horror) and catering inside the
ground. Ho hum. Guides say that the ground catering is a model of efficiency, but you
still couldn’t get near a pie at half time.
It all sounds rather uninspiring and I don’t particularly get my
kicks hanging around fake pubs on retail parks designed with families and diners in mind.
Given that trains run from Preston and Manchester, and that these are both excellent
drinking towns, the alternatives strike me as fairly obvious. The Deansgate / Castlefield
area of the latter proved rewarding on our August 2000 visit.
