Be honest, although this is the sort of big game against a big club that we like the idea of, a trip to Birmingham is not a day out that many will look forward to. Birmingham City have, shall we say, a certain reputation. A friendly welcome is not promised. Okay, bluntly, Birmingham have a yob element, and while it’s perfectly tedious and mildly depressing to have to make warnings against wearing colours or making it obvious who you support, we're doing it right at the start here. Come to that, if anyone's entitled do it, we are, as we say the same sort of thing about away supporters visiting Burnley.
So, a drink near St Andrew's is not advised. As it happens, we understand that the area around the ground is not exactly full of pubs anyway. This guide will therefore focus on pubs in central Birmingham with which I'm familiar. These are, in the main, pubs I’ve visited on past visits to football matches in the West Midlands (Walsall, West Brom, Wolves), including my two trips to see us play Birmingham City. Even then, take this with a bucketload of disclaimers. In one normally useful guide they refuse to name any pubs at all, on the basis that, even if there is no history of trouble there, the idea that away fans might call in for a drink could spark the interest of yobs. Sad.
If you’re coming by train, chances are you’ll come into New Street… eventually. You'll see the ground quite clearly on the left as you approach the station, coming from London. On recent visits New Street has been an absolute building site, as the endless reinvention of the city that never stops building itself continues. Personally, I like the essential transientness of Birmingham, but it does make it harder to do this guide, as I can't say with any degree of certainty that the streets I walked down and landmarks I navigated by last time are still there. For all I know, they've been demolished. So that's another disclaimer. If you can, you're better off slipping out of the station's side exit onto Stephenson Street, which gives easy access to reasonable pubs.
For example, if you go straight up Temple Street to St Phillip’s Cathedral and then skirt the cathedral's perimeter left around Temple Row, you will find the imposing pile of the Old Joint Stock. It’s admittedly odd, a Fuller's pub stranded far from London. You see these big old bank conversions all around the capital, but what's one doing here? Up here, I suppose, it's a welcome addition, and if drinking London beers doesn’t grab you, they generally have a guest on, which I understand is often from the West Midlands based Beowulf Brewery. True, the prices are very London (Birmingham centre isn't as cheap to drink in as it ought to be), and I always find these conversions a bit on the cold side, but it’s nicely done, and the ceiling is wonderful. Service can be slow, too. For all that, it's handy. Interestingly, although this huge pub has been quiet on past visits, before the Birmingham game it was crowded with shifty eyed, trouble-scouting, baseball capped blokes, which proves that you can never be quite sure.
Next street along, on Bennett's Hill off Colmore Row, is another former bank conversion, Bennetts. In the absence of good, traditional city centre pubs – all long bulldozed, one assumes – it seems to be the case that, if you’re hunting for true beer, you’ll mostly be looking in these new generation, large and rather uncharacterful places. It's just what people do round here, so best get used to it. Bennett's sells Banks’s Bitter (why not mild?) and Marston’s Pedigree, and has comfortable sofas and a rubbish mural. If you get yourself ensconced on one of those couches you'll find it surprisingly cosy for such a big pub. It’s been quiet on a couple of early evening visits. One word of warning: in common with most Brum pubs, ludicrous dress restrictions are imposed of an evening at the blink of an eye. What nonsense; I’m of the opinion that I can wear what I like when I’m going for a pint (it’s only going to get beer spilt down it anyway), but the good publicans of England’s second city do not share that view. Trainers, jeans and T-shirts - pretty much a whole wardrobe for some of us - may all incur the wrath of doormen. Birmingham has a bouncers on doors culture. The experience of my brother stands as a cautionary tale. One time he wandered out of here and around the corner to buy the evening’s sports pink. On returning, a doorman had materialised, to advise him that his footwear was inappropriate. Apparently it took some amount of debate to gain readmission. Be warned. There have also been tales of the various Wetherspoon’s branches (and there are several) getting heavy handed. It seems that circuit drinking is alive and well in Brum, particularly in the huge and soulless pulling joints of Broad Street (of which more in a minute), and particularly on a weekend evening, the more casually attired among you may find options severely limited. I understand that one of the reasons why the above Old Joint Stock proves popular is that it doesn’t worry too much about dress. But it might be best to wear proper shoes, just in case.
Further down Bennett’s Hill, closer to the station, is a new and rather garish Wetherspoon’s pub, the Briar Rose. I found this to be a horrible place, with daft décor - imagine going on safari in the 1930s - and poor beer. At least, my pint was freezing cold, and from what little taste I could discern through chattering teeth, that was probably a mercy. Not recommended.
Another pub to give a miss to is the one closest to the side exit of New Street station, just down the road from the Briar Rose. This is the Shakespeare, and golly it's grim. I went in once when sneaking a quick last one before the late train, and this was the haunt of dodgy people. Again, baseball caps were much in evidence. It was a place to keep your head down. Surprisingly, they sold beer, although it wasn't anything to get excited about, being Draught Bass and something equally uninspiring. It’s basically a shed catering for the young and desperate, and how desperate for a pint are you? Walk on by.
Oh well, we might as well get through all the bad pubs in one go. One pub we visited after the West Brom match in November 2000 was the Old Contemptibles on Edmund Street, which is one street further on from Colmore Row. Can’t think why we did. It’s a dump. It’s not even a nice dump. The beer is swill. It’s M+B, so what could I expect? Previously I’d not quite been able to get my head round the enmity that this West Midlands division of Bass can provokes, but having tasted it, now I can. It’s sweet, fizzy piss, to be frank. They had other national beer brands on, such as Draught Bass or something else tremendously disappointing, and the barman was friendly, but I wouldn’t advocate this place. Afterwards, we were trying to work out why we’d come in. It was crap. We’d been in before and it was crap. We knew it was crap. In the end, we decided we just liked drinking in a pub called the Old Contemptibles. It isn’t enough.
Also on Edmund Street, on the corner of Newhall Street, is Birmingham’s Hogshead. Yes, a chain pub. It’s one of these new style pubs with loathsome bright yellow walls and café bar décor. Yuk. The service was appalling on my first visit, although it had improved the second time I called in. So, another one to forget about, then? But the thing is, the beer was excellent - both times. They had a wide range, better than the normal selection you get in this chain, and my pints of something interesting were first rate. It’s almost annoying. Look out for the four-pints-for-the-price-of-three type deals, as otherwise it isn’t cheap.
South of New Street station are a couple of other pubs I know. I always liked the Old Fox on Hurst Street, next to the Hippodrome Theatre (follow the signs). I'm told it's been a bit up and down in the past few years, but on my most recent visit the beer was excellent. That said, they did have the decorators in, so it could be changing again. Also on Hurst Street, we tried to get a drink in the Slurping Toad once, but this was a bar rather than a pub, and a hideous one at that. They sold no beer, which was something of a relief, as it meant we could leave. The Village, further down on Hurst Street, is a pleasant gay pub, which sold a decent pint of Marston’s Pedigree a couple of years back, but again on a more recent visit they had no beer available.
If you're looking for something close to the station, there's another Wetherspoon's pub, the Square Peg, on Corporation Street. It boasts a massive bar, but still the same slow Wetherspoon's service when I last called in, and rather a bad attitude with it.
Yet another Wetherspoon’s pub - how many do they have? - is the Figure of Eight on Broad Street. Follow the signs to the Symphony Hall and Convention Centre. Broad Street, running east from the centre, is an interesting place. This is the spiritual home of the 'superpub'. Whatever chain pub you've heard of, they have one here, side by side. At night the smell of perfume and vomit is heady. People are loud, and doormen abound. Or that's what I've heard, anyway, as I've never tried it by night. I've been around here during the day, and it's pleasant enough then. I thought the Figure of Eight was easily the best pub round here. It was a typical large Wetherspoon's place, but they sold a lot of different beers from not the usual places.
Down on the evocatively named Gas Street by the canal is the Tap and Spile. It's an interesting building, ramshackle and on several levels. By the time you find the gents, you feel you're under the canal. It's grubby, too. Unfortunately, the beer was barely drinkable. Shame.
Heading further down Broad Street, I also wasn't keen on the Fiddle and Bone on Sheepcote Street, but for very different reasons. This is one of those new places converted out of something else. It's a big pub, by the canal, and there are bars upstairs and downstairs. But it all felt rather artificial, rather contrived. This might be a pleasant place for Sunday lunch, but when we just wanted a quick pint the service was painfully slow and the beer not worth waiting for.
Another minor disappointment was the White Swan on Grosvenor Street West, off Sheepcote Street. Sitting above a canal, this was supposed to be an unspoilt Victorian pub. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, it had been spoilt. It had obviously been taken over, and they'd changed the name - can't remember what to - and redecorated. Still, they did seem jolly pleased to see us - perhaps business was slow - and the Ansell's mild was good.
If we were playing somewhere else in the West Midlands and passing through Brum,
I would normally suggest a visit to the Digbeth area, south east of the city centre.
This is not the most prosperous part of the city, but it does include some good locals’
pubs. Digbeth is, of course, infamous for its utterly dismal coach station, behind
which on Bradford Street you’ll find the Anchor and the White Swan (another White Swan). I particularly rate the White Swan, being a proper sort of Irish pub with a warm welcome and the right idea about beer. It isn't just Guinness here. The jukebox is very Irish, although the Wild Rover is possibly the only Irish song that isn't on there. Beer comes from Banks's.
Other good pubs in this neck of the woods are the Woodman on Albert Street and Horon's Tavern on Floodgate Street. The Woodman is somewhat stranded by itself, more east of the city centre than south, and not necessarily on the way to the ground. Albert Street, if you're looking for it, runs from the centre under Queensway and keeps going. The pub is in a fairly desolate area, and from outside looks unwelcoming. Inside it’s basic, although I understand the interior has been preserved. Anyway, I found the staff friendly and the beer good. I can’t recall the range, but I was drinking Ansell’s mild and it was fine. I liked this place. Horon’s Tavern also sells this beer, and again, it was a decent pint. This is another rather basic pub, which is fairly close to the ground. The pub has been quiet when I've called in, although I suspect most matchday drinkers would have gone to the game by then. It did seem to be another genuinely Irish pub. Floodgate Street runs between Digbeth High Street and Fazeley Street, in case you were wondering.
However, it that it can’t be overlooked that Digbeth is unquestionably on the way to St Andrew’s. Some West Midlands sources say that this is an area they wouldn't go drinking in on matchdays. I would therefore caution against it, and suggest sticking to the city centre. Although I’ve visited most of the above pubs as a matchday Claret and found them trouble-free, it never takes much to make things turn ugly. Should you choose to ignore my advice then the usual ground rules apply: small groups, no colours, discretion. In any case, you may find it difficult to get in pubs in Digbeth, as they tend to have door policies on matchdays.
The easiest way to get to the ground from the centre is probably to walk or cab it. Both New Street and Moor Street stations are reckoned to be a twenty minute walk away (although I'd give it half an hour), with Snow Hill another ten. From the Bull Ring, or whatever’s replaced it, take Digbeth High Street. You can then either take Adderley Street / Kingston Road on your left, or press on and take Coventry Road. Be warned that the most obvious route is also apparently the dodgiest. The quieter side streets may be a bit more comfortable. Get a map, and try not to be seen looking at it.
Whether you get to walk back may well be up to the local plod. The West Midlands police have a reputation for heavy handedness, which they've lived up to on our visits. As we left on one occasion they were behaving rather oddly, stood in a dotted line across the exit of the carpark outside the away end. You could get past them, and we did, but it was almost as though they were daring someone to make contact. We got away, but others were not so lucky. Quite a few people reported being held back and marched to New Street station. The police would, I suppose, maintain that they were protecting the safety of the Burnley supporters, a la Cardiff, although those in the marching column felt pretty pushed around. The route they took them in was certainly circuitous; they marched straight past the pub we were drinking in. Naturally I'm not going to name the place here. It made for a strange experience. There were a few of us in there, and a handful of Blues fans, and we were quietly getting on with the business of drinking beer. Then there came the noise of helicopters, and the sight of flashing lights. The landlord quickly locked the doors and flicked the switch, advising us to keep quiet. We did, and heard the eerie sound of many Burnley feet marching by. I'm aware this isn't likely to elicit much sympathy: while fellow fans were being forcibly marched along, we were locked inside a pub! Only one thing to do, then...
The serious point is, of course, to be prepared for this kind of thing happening and not to make particularly firm plans for after the match.
Away supporters are housed in the Railway End, which isn’t bad. This seems to be one of those grounds that, while you can see it from a long way off, it's somehow further away than you think. The route to the away end is not direct. I didn't see anything resembling a pub round here. Apparently there used to be one drinking option close to the ground, the Watering Hole, but according to the Away Guide [
