Ah Bristol! Fine drinking town! Always one of
the absolute unmissable highlights of the drinking season, we could come here any number
of times and never quite exhaust the possibilities of the place. And this season, we get
two goes at it!
Unfortunately, however many times I've been here, I've never quite got to
grips with the layout of the place. The city centre is diffuse; it's hard to grasp the
essence of it; at each turn of the corner you find yourself in a neighbourhood with a
different name. There are many versions of Bristol, all of them true. But hey, why not cut
the Invisible Cities bollocks and just tell us where the pubs are? So I got out my
map and my trusty CAMRA Bible and, for the first time, I think I've worked it out. So that's
where we've been drinking all these years.
A couple of things to note. Bristol Temple Meads is your mainline station,
but it's some way removed from the centre. Expect to negotiate some serious roads before
you hit the pubs or take one of the many cabs which always lie in wait outside the
station. The other thing is, Bristol's one of those places where the pubs don't seem to
open till twelve. Well, nowhere's perfect. With the distance of the ground causing you to
eat up valuable drinking time with humdrum travelling, this is really too late to start.
So, have a quick look to see if the Reckless Engineer, over the
road from Temple Meads station on Temple Gate, is open. This is a decent beer house,
friendly enough, always with a good choice of beers. Just don't make the mistake of
planning a quick one in here before the train home. It's always been shut, apparently in
preparation for Saturday night bands.
Come out of here, under the flyover, and head along Victoria Street,
across the 'floating harbour' (no, I've never worked out what one of those is). Baldwin
Street turns into Stephen Street and off here you'll find Corn Street, where sits the Commercial
Rooms. This is a Wetherspoon's pub, which means it's always open at eleven, but this
is a cut above the normal for that chain. The Commercial Rooms is an old, and rather
grand, gentleman's club, converted into a pub with many of the fittings left intact. Order
a pint from the usual good range, which always includes local beer Butcombe's, then wander
around the lavish interior. They'd never had dreamed of letting in oiks like you before.
Usual Wetherspoon's menu if you're feeling peckish.
You are, of course, still miles from the ground at this stage, as it lies
in north Bristol, north west of their former Eastville home. Probably time to start
heading that way. Unfortunately, the other thing to note about Bristol is it's incredibly
hilly. Pack your crampons and a goodly supply of Ventolin and prepare for some steep
climbing. Either that, or bring lots of change for cabs. Heading north east out of the
Commercial Rooms and under the dual carriageway of the inner ring road you'll hit St
Michael's Hill, and begin your steep ascent into Kingsdown.
Climb up for the Highbury Vaults, a splendid pub with a charming
interior, where you can always get a good pint of the excellent Bristol beer Smile's. You
might need a couple while you get your breath back. They sell rolls too. It's a crawl
traditional in Bristol to start at this pub and work your way down the hill towards the
centre, but that would be taking us the wrong way. It's better to head approximately east
where a succession of vertiginous turns will bring you to the Hare on the Hill on
Thomas Street North, near the evocatively named Nine Tree Hill. It's impossible to
describe the route. You really need a map. And perhaps some oxygen. Just bear in mind,
Thomas Street North. Not Thomas Street. We once got utterly lost looking for this
place, and ended up some miles distant in St Paul's. I told you our geography was wanting.
Anyway, if you can find the Hare on the Hill it is well worth visiting.
It's a big, bare-boarded friendly pub with the works of local artists on the walls, and if
they didn't get tired of us after the 4-3 win in January 99 they're obviously rather
tolerant people. Beers are by the excellent Bath brewery (why can't you find these in
Bath?), and you can usually grab something to eat here.
Between the Highbury Vaults and the Hare on the Hill, my trusty if by now
rather battered Beer Guide tells me there's a pub called The Bell on Alfred Place,
but I honestly have no idea if I've ever been in there.
Another option from the centre is to head up Upper Maudlin Street where,
near the hospital, you'll find the Smile's Brewery Tap. Rather a quiet and nice
pub, this, but I've had one or two jolly times here, the beer is good and there are
excellent views over Bristol from upstairs.
Further up heading north east, near Montpelier Station, you'll find the Cadbury
House on Richmond Road. Top boozer, good beers from Wickwar's, more food, aimed at
students but not bad for all that. Moving on to here represents progress of a kind, as
you'll now be on the same page of the Bristol A-Z as the Memorial Ground. If you've been
in all these pubs, it's probably time you were getting to the game by now. You need to
head west on just about any street until you hit Cheltenham Road / Gloucester Road, which
heads up to the ground. Now, Gloucester Road is full of pubs, and a full crawl can be
found on the 2nd
of May website (being the fanzine run by our very good friends, the London Gasheads).
They've usually left us by this point to drink near the ground, and the only Gloucester
Road pub I've been in this side of the ground is the Prince of Wales. If you're
trying to keep track of things, we're in Bishopton by now. Decent boozer, okay pint,
natives friendly, nothing to get excited about.
Probably best to walk up Gloucester Road to the ground, unless you get
lucky with a bus. I wouldn't count on it; public transport in Bristol is appalling. There
are other pubs on the way, such as the Annexe on Seymour Road near Gloucestershire
CC, about a fifteen minute walk from the ground, and the Kellaway Arms on Kellaway
Avenue, near Horfield Common just north of the ground. By this time I generally seem to be
running late and have already had probably enough to drink, so I usually have to give them
a miss. However, in the interests of this guide I made it into the Annexe on our most
recent visit (August 99), and I left underwhelmed. It's basically a shed full of football
fans, so there's a good atmosphere, but most of the beer was off and what there was was in
mediocre shape. In line with the odd timekeeping traditions of pubs in Bristol, this place
closes at 2.30, so be warned, it's no use turning up for a late pint.
If you have time to spare, there's also a plastic glasses type boozer just
past the ground called (I think) the Wellington, which I went in once
when I didn't fancy seeing the kickoff, and it seemed okay, with home and away fans
tolerating each other. Someone had written 'Teasdale Out' in condensation on the window.
Happy days.
If you haven't managed to eat, the Cornish pasties at the ground are
excellent.
After the game, hit Gloucester Road and do your best to get on a bus south
from the stop just below the ground. You might want to consider the Cadbury House or Hare
on the Hill again. You can have a pint here safe in the knowledge that the walk back into
the centre is at least downhill.
There are some other pubs to the east of the centre, but it will of course
be best to leave those for when we play Bristol City. In the centre there's a pub on Quay
Head off Colston Avenue called the White Lion which has a narrow spiral staircase
down to the gents. Not advised if you're dizzy or rather wide. On the other side of the
centre, approximately north of Temple Meads Station, on New Street, east of Bond Street
and north of Old Market Street, there's the Seven Ways, a decent local selling
Usher's. You did remember to bring your compass, I take it? You should now be able to work
your way back to Temple Meads via a couple of small pubs, which might be open, sometimes:
the Bridge Inn, on Passage Street, just before you cross back over the floating
harbour, and the King's Head on Victoria Street, which leads back onto Temple Gate
and therefore takes you to the station. Walking between these two, you will pass the
Courage Brewery, which represents almost three hundred years of brewing tradition in the
city, but is shortly to be closed in an act of wilful vandalism. I suspect I've been in
more pubs round here, but I'm normally a little confused by this stage. Regardless of
which, I always seem to end up in the Archery Tavern near Paddington when I
eventually get back to London. Despite the exertions of the day, the London Clarets took
bronze in the quiz night last time we fetched up there. Was it me, or did most of the
questions seem to be about trees?
For an alternative evening out or a long weekend, there's always nearby,
the splendid city of Bath.
Suggested crawl: as
many from The Reckless Engineer, the Commercial Rooms, the Highbury Vaults, the Hare on
the Hill, the Smile's Brewery Tap and the Cadbury House as you can get to before the game.
Mop up the rest afterwards. And then come back when we play Bristol City.
