Wycombe
Top pub: The Rose and Crown, Desborough
Road (listed in 1999 CAMRA Good Beer Guide)
It has to be said, High Wycombe isn't the greatest town for
a pint.
And god knows, we've tried here. We've been here enough
times now. We just about had a good time here after our 1-1 draw, but it was still
pleasant to have got this less than thrilling excursion out of the way.
Straight out of the station you see the Flint Cottage.
Unless 'exotic dancers' is what you're after, give it a miss. Head left down the hill
until you come to the pedestrianised High Street.
There are a few pubs on here. First, there's a Hobgoblin
pub. It's dirty, greasy and crowded at night, but on the down side, I've never found
Wychwood beers particularly suited to a Northern palate and a lot of the crowd consists of
gullible student fashion victims.
Just further on is The Falcon, a Wetherspoon's pub.
Yes, another chain pub. It says something about the town that it's full of them. You know
what you're getting from a Wetherspoon's pub: decentish beer, a fair range, special
offers, edible and reasonably priced food, slow service, no soul. You could do worse. Not
a bad meeting pub this, and considerably improved since our debut visit to High Wycombe
(95-6). Then, this became the only pub that I have been physically thrown out of. The
crime we had committed was the heinous one of revealing we were football fans. I think
they were still new to league football then. I suppose I'm technically still 'barred for
life', but the management has, thankfully, changed since then.
Around the corner, there's yet another chain pub, The
Firmament and Firkin (please), which isn't dreadful, but across the road from the
Falcon and up a little side street is The Antelope. Not a bad pub, this. It's a bit
of an old bloke's boozer, a refuge for unwilling shoppers, but they serve a reasonable
pint of Marlow Rebellion IPA, not something I've seen elsewhere, and it's worth stopping
off for one. It gets livelier in the evenings, and on our last visit (August 99) we
enjoyed something of a disco and singalong in celebration of our first ever non-defeat
here, although we did eventually get told that if we carried on singing we would have to
leave.
Walk through the shopping centre and across the bus station
to our usual pre and immediate post-match pub, The Rose and Crown on Desborough
Road. This is the best pub in High Wycombe, and the only one listed in the Bible, AKA, the
CAMRA Good Beer Guide (they also list an off-licence, which smacks a little of
desperation). Being the best pub in High Wycombe may seem like faint praise, but I
genuinely like this boozer, which has always reacted well to an mass of London Clarets
walking through its door and serves some uncommon beers. They were surprised to see us
back there early in the second half when we lost 5-0 that time (April 98). "Has the
game been called off?" they asked. "Kind of," we replied. This season I
watched two blokes play the longest and most joyless game of bar billiards I have ever
seen.
Alternatively, if you continue to the end of the High
Street, a road runs up to the right with a couple of pubs on it. Continuing the chain pubs
theme, there's a branch of the increasingly compromised Hogshead chain on
the corner. I have no great affection for this set of pubs, with one or two honourable
exceptions, but the staff were friendly enough on our recent visit (August 99), even if
the beer wasn't particularly exciting. Might be worth a quick snifter if you've time to
kill.
There's also a recently tarted-up Fuller's pub called The
Bell further up the road. Beer isn't dreadful, but I've always rated Fuller's behind
Young's, and the food is expensive and slow. Some attempt at a smile when you're served
would be nice as well. I wouldn't exactly say it was a warm welcome.
Avoid the Linnet Tree or whatever it's
bloody called across the road. This is one of those new generation of post-Wetherspoon
pubs, that have taken all the wrong lessons from that success. They steal from
Wetherspoon's the corporate blandness, the lack of style, the emphasis on food, but miss
the good stuff, like the decent beer and the ban on muzak. In here, they even have video
screens above the bar advertising the pub (surely wasted if you're already inside?). Pubs
like this are always staffed by juvenile androids who've missed their true vocation at
MacDonald's. So it proved here. I was served a pint of something resembling vinegar, and
attempted to have it changed. The result was utter confusion in the ranks: three staff
clustered for five minutes around a till trying to work out how to cancel what they'd
poured. You had to pretty much stand in front of them and wave energetically before you
could get them to interrupt their teenage conversation to flog you a pint.
I could go on, but by now you will really need to be
getting your cab to the ground. I trust you have already booked one the minute you arrived
in town? Book it for 2.15, and if it turns up by 2.30 you should get to the ground. What,
you fancy a drink en route? There is nothing en route. The nearest is a pub called the Hourglass,
on the road up before you hit the industrial estate on which Wycombe's ground is curiously
situated. I've never been in myself, but I'm told it's crap and you can't particularly
count on getting in, and you really don’t want to watch Burnley play at this
graveyard without a stiff drink inside you, do you?
If you do happen to arrive at this charmless ground early,
you could always try blagging your way into the club bar. It's supposed to be home and
pre-booked organised away supporters only, but we got in there in February 99 with a flash
of a London Clarets membership card. The Mansfield bitter was okay, too. And then the game
started.
Afterwards, go to London for a night out. There's bugger
all on the way, except Beaconsfield, which has one pub miles from the railway station. Of
course, we've been there too. It wasn't bad.
Suggested route: The Falcon, The Antelope, The Rose and Crown and a cab to the
ground.
Firmo
Last updated 19 August 1999
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