Room 101 - Clarets Nightmares
Getting a few things off my chest by Jane Pike
Substitutions
I fear I’m not alone in my despair at this
particular BFC foible and therefore suspect I need say little. I’m no expert, and I
might not be too familiar with all the squad these days because I don’t attend as
regularly as I’d like. Therefore, I give myself no graces and won’t attempt to
make authoritative comments on which player should play where. However, there is one thing
that I, and indeed even an idiot, could deduce: quite often Stan’s substitutions just
don’t make good sense.
My frustration at his tactics reached a head at
Luton, which had all the classic symptoms of this current BFC substitution syndrome. I ask
you, why take Brass off for Jepson? Jepson can be a very useful player but Brass did not
warrant substituting.
More worrying, Andy Payton came off when we were
losing 2-1 only for Branch to be brought on. Can someone tell me why?
Luton stands as just one classic example of that
Stan Ternent daft substitution strategy. I don’t think I need embellish further.
Stan, please consign it to Room 101!
Chris Waddle
Chris Waddle – the manager who complained
that the Burnley fans didn’t get behind him; and criticised both us and the players
at every turn. And then he ran off and told all his old buddies tales, only for us to get
bad press from Gary Lineker et al as a result of his own shortcomings.
Chris – we were told – was a fine
player and we should be excited to have him as our player manager. Like some great honour
had been bestowed on our little corner of Lancashire. But let’s face it, while he was
in charge our fortunes took a turn for the worse and in the end Waddle ran away with his
tail between his legs vowing never to manage again. Congratulations on your decision
Chris, but no-one would want you anyway.
Who would tell Eyres – still shining at
Preston during important games – that he was free to go? Who would bring in his
useless brother-in-law and give him such a constant role in the team? Oh but he
wasn’t a relative, was he? Well I’m sorry, but surely there had to be some
reason behind Waddle’s consistent lack of judgement about his lack of talent?
He brought in a useless bunch of players, and
useless back room staff. I don’t need to go into details – it’s too painful
to recall, and we all know who I’m talking about here anyway.
The best thing that Waddle did for Burnley was
to leave, and it didn’t take too long for his crop of players to leave the team
sheets thereafter. However, Waddle left Burnley a legacy and we have had to bear the cost
of his mistakes.
Sky Sports et al
I’m sick of hearing them claim to
support the game through and through. In reality they’ve encouraged this elite
‘crème de la crème’ at the top of the Premier League, giving them wads of cash
by assuming everyone wants to watch them, thus enabling them to buy in "talent"
and move further away from the rest of us.
Sky do bestow the odd game on Burnley, and true
this cash is extremely useful to the club in theory. However, their scheduling ensures
that it is impossible for us to get North in time for the fixtures, or for our fellow fans
in Burnley to get South in time on the day of the game. Just because it has to be 1pm on a
Sunday, or a Friday evening – because it’s not ‘sexy’ football. Yes,
lots of thought for the club and fans with that one.
And how much money is lost as a result in
reality? Fans stay at home, not prepared to struggle to make these journeys when they can
watch it on the box. In reality I suspect pubs are the most likely to benefit from these
ventures.
And now FIFA are selling them the rights to the
World Cup to screen as pay-for-view. We didn’t want to watch it anyway, did we?
Reading’s Madejksi
Stadium
Well I had to mention it whilst it’s still
fresh in my mind. Two seasons on the trot I have endured the Madejksi Stadium under great
duress. Last year, when it wasn’t ready to be open, I wanted to leave but had to
wait… and wait to leave the car park after the game. This, after enduring fascistic
stewards who swamped en-masse to attempt to eject me from the ground because I didn’t
realise the ground was flammable and had lit a cigarette!
And why hadn’t I realised? Could it be
something to do with the fact that it had proved such a challenge to get near the ground
that I’d arrived late and failed to notice the unobtrusive no smoking notices at the
entrance gates? Could it also be to do with the fact that I was sat in the open air and
never gave it a thought that I would have to go to an enclosed area to smoke – thus
allowing others to share my smoking experiences more effectively? And maybe, just maybe,
it never occurred to me that a ground would be entirely no smoking. I respect that some
people just don’t like the smell of smoke, but what about a smoking section? That way
we’d all be happy.
And while we’re on the subject, clearly the
fans of Reading are extremely affluent. They must be if they’re prepared to pay over
£3 for a cheese sandwich which, to me, just seems like extortion.
Suffice to say I hate Reading – and I
can’t wait for our paths to part company.
John Bond
I was encouraged to mention this man who brought
an air of death to Burnley. But I shall not go into too much detail as I’m sure
others have plenty to say on him and may find it therapeutic to get it off their chests
and consign him forever more to Room 101. (Note to Ed: how about a special edition
dedicated to burying John Bond?)
In truth, I was a giddy young teenager during
his short reign of terror and luckily much of his assassination got forgotten quickly at
the sight of John Taylor of Duran Duran performing on Top of the Pops. Well, we all have
our problems!
However, I can never forgive him for
letting my first football hero leave. Trevor Steven was the first player to have a deep
impact on me and I thought he was the best player ever. Back in those days it always
seemed to me that a Trevor Steven corner would lead to a goal for Burnley. He was a high
calibre player, and local lad committed to the club.
Of course Trevor wasn’t the only casualty.
Brian Laws and Lee Dixon "would never make the grade" and so they went. Well,
Lee Dixon’s testimonial at Arsenal a few weeks ago just goes to prove how wrong his
judgement was there.
John Bond took my greatest player away and
murdered Burnley. And I look forward to a character assassination of him inspired by his
mention here.
Jane Pike
September-October 1999
Links -
chris waddle has been here before...
