Listen, I've got a proposition for you. Instead
of spending our cash on the new Burnley home shirt, why don't we put it in a big piggy
bank and save it up until there's enough to take out a contract on whoever is responsible
for inflicting this monstrosity on an unsuspecting world. An extreme solution perhaps, and
of course I'm not really advocating a slow lingering death for whoever thought that a
purplish colour that is not quite claret and blue quarters with a stupid big v neck was a
good idea. In any case, finding who to blame is a bit more complex than that, for rather
like Terry's boys on a mile high bender, the choice of this ghastly design would appear to
have been a collective error of judgement.
At away games I sometimes have too much to drink
and end up doing something really stupid, like buy a programme. In these, it's not so
rare, particularly towards the end of a season, to see a range of possible designs of next
years' strip presented to the paying public. At Watford the other year I even saw the
results of a 'design our next strip' competition. This kind of limited supporter
involvement in the selection of a new strip is, then, not a particularly radical concept.
Normal clubs do it. When you think about it, it makes sound commercial sense: the club
knows it will be selling a product acceptable to many of the people it wants to buy it.
Any business which takes itself seriously will,
when launching a new product, first undertake market research to find out what people want
from that product. Big companies spend massive sums and conduct exhaustive research before
making a commitment to go into production. It isn't too difficult to see how this time
honoured practice has relevance here. We know long in advance that the contract with the
manufacturer is due to expire. A further deal will be agreed, or a new deal made with
another company. In either case, we know we will want a new strip. Initial designs could
be invited, perhaps even from the companies tendering as part of their bid, although the
choice of manufacturer is likely to be a financial decision in the main. Either at this
stage or when the manufacturer is agreed, half a dozen designs could be commissioned, and
published in the programme. Not everyone buys programmes, so put them in the local paper,
always grateful for space filler on a slow day, or even (gasp) ask the fanzines for their
help. Black and white, of course, but we would still be able to make out the choice of
designs. We know - we hope - approximately what the colours will be (although assuming
they could even get the right shade of red that we could call claret seems a tad
optimistic).
How do you find out which people prefer? You
invite votes, of course. Perhaps you include an insert, a tear-off form. Get them to post
it back to the club, put a box for them in the club shop and the Centre Spot. Of course
the system is open to abuse, of course jokers will stick other 'suggestions' in the boxes
(anything to be frightened of?), but that does not matter: the idea should be to get a
rough impression of supporters' opinions. Of course, as with any survey, most people will
not get round to responding, so you involve them in another way. I remember hearing,
though I can't remember who the club was, of a 'fashion parade' of potential shirts at
half time. Cheer for the one you want. This includes the grassroots supporter, any shirt's
main target market (the most popular club shirt size being XL). Again, get an estimate of
people's feelings. Club staff and directors should canvass informal opinion from the
supporters: engage in conversation, experience the nuances of opinion. Do not sit back and
wait for people to make their feelings known, usually when it is too late to change
anything: actively go out and seek those opinions. This comes back to the legendary Radio
Lancashire November phone-in. Directors may 'talk to fans' all the time and therefore
claim to know what the fans want, but which ones do they talk to? Are they not aware that
the denizens of the Bob Lord may hold a very different set of opinions to the dispossessed
refugees from the Longside? An elected representative of the supporters at board meetings
(as at Manchester City) would help. Stop me if you think this is getting too radical.
Such a consultation process would entail some
expense, but then, it is likely to produce a more popular shirt which will sell more. It
may not produce everyone's favourite shirt, as everyone will have different tastes and
opinions, but it is unlikely to produce a shirt many could object to. The design that wins
the most votes wouldn't even necessarily need to prevail: other factors such as cost of
production of a given design are likely to have a bearing (although the classic Burnley
shirt, with claret body and blue arms, is a very simple design). This is more about
finding out what people won't buy, and avoiding making it. That doesn't seem to
have been the result that came out of whatever decision making process did take place.
Then the next step would be to flag its arrival
long in advance. To be fair, this was done with the white shirt, which was shown in the
papers long before it hit the shops. A decent shirt it was, although badly made and
translucent; it must have got worn half a dozen times before it became obsolete a few
months later. With the new home shirt, we seem to have presented with a fait accompli:
we see a photograph in the newspaper (and why is Liam Robinson always available for
modelling work?) and we instantly know we are stuck with that for the next couple of
years. Publicise the suggested new design beforehand. It's not too late to find out if
people don't like it, and if you unleash a hideous design, word will quickly get round in
time for changes to be made.
If it seems like I'm explaining things in
excessive detail, if it seems like I'm stating the obvious, then I apologise. It would
seem that it is less than obvious to those who decide things at our club. I suppose people
like me often get criticised for being negative, perhaps fairly. It's reasonable for the
reader to ask: it's easy to slag things off, but what would you do? I offer
suggestions here in a positive spirit. I seek to make constructive criticisms, and perhaps
in doing so help demonstrate that us, the mob, might have opinions worth listening to.
It seems they did not follow anything like the
process outlined above in the introduction of the new shirt. We do not know who is to
blame for it, we do not know who, presumably, looked at the designs and said, 'it's a
winner, let's go with it.' If any prior research was undertaken, who did they ask? Is
there anyone out there who was consulted before the decision was made? If the board did
not carry out any professional research on their product's potential customer base, then
they are guilty of a gross neglect of duty. They have failed to make the most of this
valuable opportunity to raise revenue for the club. One of the ways in which the
supporters continually invest in the club is through the purchase of flimsy and often
badly made 'leisure wear'. We know that, and we're prepared to go along with it. It's our
way of putting something in. It seems they can't even get that right. Let's hope they
haven't budgeted on the assumption of normal sales of shirts. By now, the club must be
used to looking on shirt sales as guaranteed money which can be relied on come what may.
This issue is important not just in itself, it
also provides us with a good example of how the board's attitude towards supporter
representation serves us all ill. If they weren't so phobic about this concept of
supporter involvement, they could have been warned not to go ahead with the shirt, and put
forward an improved design. Supporter consultation would have been mutually beneficial:
they would have got a shirt they could sell, we would have got a shirt we could buy and
wear with pride. Without it, we have all lost. Having made such a mistake, can the board
continue to claim that they do not need to consult the fans, because they know what we
want? What exactly are they so scared of?
So who did the club listen to before they opted
for the new design, if it was not the people who normally buy the shirts? The designers at
Adidas, perhaps, for whom we are extremely small fish, glancing cursorily at our history
and cobbling something together to hurriedly get us out of the way? Put yourself in
Adidas's shoes: how much time would you spend on ours before getting round to the new
Liverpool and Newcastle shirts? There's a rumour going round that the design is, simply,
the cheapest Adidas make, leaving the club with the largest profit per shirt. But if true,
that is amazingly short-sighted, since it assumes people will buy them regardless. A
better shirt that costs more to make will make less profit per shirt sold but will sell
more and reap greater profit overall.
Watching the European Championships, it struck
me that most of the shirts were made by Adidas. All were better than ours. We come
to another rumour. Did you know that, apparently, you can buy the new Burnley home shirt,
half price? You have been able to for some time now. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have
the badge and Endsleigh advert, but it's the same in every other respect. It is, I'm told,
just a standard Adidas design of the kind sold cheaply to gullible Sunday teams. Ours is
therefore, it's said, simply a regular shirt in nearly the right colours, made official by
the addition of a badge. Having seen the thing close up, with its shadow pattern of Adidas
stripes instead of the patterns more appropriate to Burnley our shirts usually bear, I'm
inclined to think there might be some truth in this. I know someone who bought the new
black training top a long time back: without the badge, it sells as a normal Adidas top.
It would be good if someone could set the record straight on this, but I still await an
answer to a letter I sent the club a bit back. If our experience with a large manufacturer
corresponds in any way to that suggested above, the only sensible thing to do in future is
to link up with smaller, local companies who might be pleased to win an order and ensure
they do it justice.
It's ironic, isn't it, that at the end of
1994/95 season, the Marlon's Gloves survey (finding out what supporters like and
dislike - it can be done) revealed one of the best things about supporting Burnley - and
one of the few good things that year - was the team colours. Along with everything else,
with the fun in watching Burnley being eroded little by little, they've even taken that
away from us now. One of the main ways in which supporters identify with the team - the
wearing of team colours - has been spoilt. To think of the times in the past I've enjoyed
myself laughing at the stupid shirts of the opposition compared to our rather cool designs
(pigeon shit crucifix decorated 91-93 shirt excepted). Oh, the joy of Rochdale's 'All In
One Gardening Centre' watercan design, Hull's Bet Lynch tiger stripes, Brighton's
legendary carrier bags, Bournemouth's insane inverted shapes, Carlisle's dire
cacophony of stripes. Now it seems it is our turn to provide the fun. It hurts and
depresses me to think the club I love is set to make itself a laughing stock for the next
two years. I'll accept sad away shirts - they don't really matter, they are not really our
colours - but it is hard to believe that come August we'll be running out in that,
that that is our choice of first team colours. After years of moaning that we often change
without need away, I'll now be hoping that every home side wears something that might just
clash with purple and blue quarters. One thing seems sure: the club must be set for record
sales of away shirts, as those who can't be seen in last year's shirt buy that instead.
It's an average away shirt, but takes on relative beauty of an altogether different kind
when set next to its exceptionally ugly brother.
I'll make you a bet now that, when this shirt
comes to the end of its life - let it be soon - we'll revert to a more conventional
design, and this will somehow be presented as a triumph. This happened when we dispensed
with the aforementioned championship winning Ribero nightmare to adopt the first Mitre
shirt, the best Burnley shirt in years. Our chairman said how pleased he was to be
returning to a traditional design in traditional colours. I felt more than a pang of 'new
improved washing powder' scepticism here: the choice of design and colours you're now
telling us were no good are the same ones you were encouraging us to buy not so long ago,
you saps. When this one goes, we'll go back to something sensible and it'll be sold as
traditional and 'in response to popular demand'. Why do we have to endure this purgatory
first?
I await the new season with keen interest. I'm
curious whether sales hold up. I can't think of a punishment strong enough for any sad
souls who will buy the new shirt. I suppose I can just see a case for people -
trainspotter types - who collect Burnley shirts, and so must buy each one that
comes along. Very well, if you must; you don't have to wear it. Anyone who does
that deserves to be roundly jeered, to be mocked by small children on street corners. Such
people will be fair game. Crowds should gather wherever they go and shout 'fashion
victim'. Supporters should chant 'we've got the worst shirts in the land' or perhaps
'they're so shirt it's unbelievable'. Anyone who wears it may be interested in the new
third shirt it is rumoured our designers are working on even now: blue and white halves.
Well, if you'll swallow the purple and blue quarters, quite clearly, you'll wear anything.
Firmo
July 1996
