Well, I was going to try to write something meaningful and intelligent. But hey,
who am I trying to kid?! So, instead, I’ve compiled a little Top Ten of our
manager’s choicest words from last season. I present them to you in reverse order of
enjoyment (personal view only), along with some helpful notes for anyone who doesn’t
speak Stanglish. Enjoy!
10. It was Towneley Holmes stuff.
After we lost 1-0 at Barnsley. Steady on, Stan, surely it wasn’t that
bad?
9. If that’s the sort of lengths that managers have to go to to
win football matches, I’d rather be cutting my grass.
After we lost 2-0 at Sheffield United. Stan suspected Neil Warnock of
posting a "spy" outside the dressing room at half time...
8. I don’t know who’s
running the place at Palace. I don’t know if the kit man’s running it, Ray
Houghton, the other one with the blond curls (Glenn Cockerill) or Alan Smith. I’m not
too sure who’s in charge.
After we were bundled out of the League Cup by a late goal away at Palace,
Stan having had a little, er, run-in with Houghton etc. Of course, none of said
individuals are running anything at Palace now! Ha ha!
7. I’m a bit naffed off with
that Trinidad mob.
During poor Coxy’s "international career", when Trinidad
and Tobago boss Ian Porterfield apparently reneged on an agreement that Cox wouldn’t
miss any Burnley games. It does occur to me that perhaps "naffed" wasn’t
the exact word that Stan may have used, though.
6. Goals change games.
Self-explanatory. Talk about stating the obvious – but from
Stan’s lips it somehow seems more…well…relevant.
5. I resign!
This cannot be proved, but local rumours are that it’s been heard a
few times after some particularly "challenging" situations!
4. Gaffer.
Not strictly a "Stan saying" – it’s just how everyone
now refers to him. Just check out a transcript of any player interview and marvel at how
they’ve all been brainwashed.
3. Crack on (and various mutations,
e.g. "keep on").
As in, "There’s no reason why we can't crack on." This is
one of Stan’s more addictive little sayings. You know it’s time to seek help
when you tell the cat to crack on and eat its dinner…
2. Bad day at the office.
As in Bolton at home / Forest away / Grimsby away / Portsmouth away /
Blackburn Rovers (yuk) anywhere. Perhaps occasionally followed by No. 5?
1. See where it takes us.
As in "We’ll just focus on the next game, and see where it takes
us". Quickly adopted by several London Clarets (hi Woody!). Loose translation:
"I’m actually pretty confident that we’ll do OK, but I like to play it
cool, just to keep up my image!"
Well, it took us to 7th in
Division One. Thanks, Stan – we love you!
Pauline
Pratley
July 2001
