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Andy Jones' injury desk I'm pleased to report that John Francis is continuing his recovery from injury. A long drive down to Cambridge recently to see some kind of specialist leg doctor thing necessitated several pie stops en route and a refreshing pause for a couple of hours in a particularly fine curry house just outside Peterborough, which I'll be certainly be recommending to the boss for our pre-match preparation there next season. Good results all round from the trip, I thought, and I've been impressed by John's attitude. He's such a super lad to work with.Tony is coming back from the shock of scoring a goal at Bolton, where I found the town centre restaurants slightly disappointing, and I hope to have him back to his usual level of fitness by the end of September. Similarly, John Pender sustained further injuries playing for the reserves the other week. Running out and shouting "aaaagggghhhh!" as the ball sailed over his head left him with a severe sore throat, which, combined with the muscle he pulled in his offside appealing arm, presents another setback for the big lad, who is, nevertheless, always a pleasure to have on the treatment table. Eyresie has suffered from another very bad haircut, which is of concern to us all, and Steve Davis has come down with a nasty case of itchy feet, which looks set to develop further complications. Steve is a big lad who can eat enough for two, so I for one wouldn't be upset to see him go, and then we could all concentrate on finding Gary Parkinson's secret supply of Mars Bars. We're still working hard on teaching Chris Vinnicombe not to duck every time he hears an Australian accent, which caused him no end of problems ordering drinks in pubs on our recent trip to London to see a Harley Street specialist. Chris is an absolute joy to work with, and his recent jaw injury meant no solids for him and larger lunchtime portions for everyone else. Wayne Dowell is making good progress on his broken foot, which I initially felt to be nothing more serious than a mildly bruised toe. His recent 21st birthday meant large helpings of cake all round. Splendid lad. Inchy, a great chap to get to grips with, is doing well on his new crutches, which I've fashioned from a pair of (spent) matchsticks. John Gayle's old crutches haven't gone to waste, however, as we've been able to use them to prop up Inchy's ego, which, thankfully, is never out of action for long. We've also been trying to get Derek Adams in, but have not, as yet, been able to find anyone who knows what he looks like. We're still investigating whatever mystery virus it is that rules Tin Man out of selection for so much of the time. I haven't put my finger on it yet, although I do keep trying, but we have at least isolated it and stopped it spreading to David Eyres, which was a relief to the boss. Oh, and we're still trying to find out what makes Liam Robinson medically unable to kick a football. Elsewhere, I'm currently treating players for minor injuries sustained walking the dog, drinking a cup of coffee, mowing the lawn, falling down a manhole, piano dropping on head, trapping finger in heavy book, slipping on a banana skin and - there's always one - training. Finally, Alan, who's a constant delight to treat, and who always gets the half time chips in when he's not playing, in now firmly on the comeback trail, although he may feel the back of my hand if he tries another stunt like tying Jamie Hoyland's bootlaces together, like he did at Port Vale. And the next time he tries to put cayenne pepper in my lucky ten to three pie, I may have to advise the gaffer that his playing career's over. And that's all for now. God I'm starving... P.S. - A message to the uncouth youth who shouted advice to me at Port Vale. If I know what causes injuries, it follows that I know how to cause them. Get the message, pal? FirmoJune-July 1995 |