They say a good Claret improves with age. The Queen Mum might have made a good Claret, and she wouldn’t have
increased the average age of this team by that much! The fact that we have too many OAPs and that none of the
players on the pitch against Wolves was a product of Burnley FC does not bode well for our long-term future.
Not only do we have the highest average age in the First Division, but we’re also the dirtiest team, a statistic not
helped by three more yellows and a red in this bad-tempered affair. In short, we need to clean up our act and
rejuvenate.
Right, got that off my chest, then, and gave the Queen Mum a well-deserved mention. Not bad for an opening
paragraph! So, what of the game?
This was the third live game on Swedish TV featuring the Clarets this season. The other two were a thoroughly
good trouncing of Coventry away (2-0) and an uneventful 0-0 draw at Wimbledon. So I’ve seen it all, a win a draw and
now a loss - sort of caps our season in one, really, doesn’t it? It’s been downhill all the way. There was no
Swedish interest in this one, either, just a Norwegian, so this game was on because it was a top-of-the-table clash.
After forcing a corner early on and playing some decent stuff, we went 1-0 up after nine minutes -
good cross in, excellent jump by Gareth, bottom corner of the net. It was a perfectly good goal and believe me,
I know, because I’ve watched it fifty times already, and for the life of me still don’t know why it was disallowed.
It was one of probably three defining moments of this game, and definitely changed its entire course. It would
have put us 1-0 up, for starters, and even if Wolves had gone on to score three, those London Clarets who normally
implement the three-goal rule would have stayed for the entire match and seen us equalise with five minutes to go.
Of course, that’s not how things turned out, and we lament on what could have been. Wolves went back up the other
end and scored - the match’s second defining moment - and the rest is history. Sturridge was not off-side when he
smacked the ball past NTG, but I reckon he was moments early when Newton was put clear on the right. He (Sturridge)
was in the middle of the park, a metre or so off-side, seemingly not trying to get back on side and therefore,
according to my interpretation of the rule, interfering with play. But the ref didn’t think so.
It was my first Gazza experience as well. Seeing the man in Claret and blue wasn’t quite as exciting as I thought
it would be. After 45 minutes Stan thought the same and took him off - cue the gallant revival. Apart from one
jinksy run through the Wolves defence, shooting narrowly wide, and a half-decent free-kick, Gazza was at best
uninvolved and at worst probably cost us the game - he was dispossessed so many times I lost count. In an interview
he gave the day he began training, he said that he was always glad to be "playin’ foo - ee"
(attempt at putting the Geordie accent into words) even if it was just a Sunday kick-about with the lads in the park.
I reckon he thought that’s where he was, judging be the amount of time he thought he had on the ball!
Don’t get me wrong, though. I think Gazza was an imaginative signing and it’s brought people through the
turnstiles. It could have been the Wright touch we’d been lacking. But after three games and just the one point, this
is one we may have to just write off as a bad debt. Gazza may well have started his last game for us already, and the
whole escapade might have cost us a play-off place.
He seemed to have a negative effect on the whole team, as if they were waiting for him to do it all on his own, or
at least tell everyone what they should be doing. In the first half, we were awful, poor going forward and even poorer
going back. Wolves sliced us open four times like drawing a knife through butter, and if it hadn’t been for Westy’s
head, it would have been 0-4 at half-time. West managed somehow to get in the way of another Sturridge goalbound effort
just a couple of minutes after the first goal. I was convinced I was going to see either the ball or Westy’s head hit
the back of the net! And guess who lost the ball in midfield to create the chance for Wolves in the first place?
So, after another Sturridge strike and one more from Cameron, half time arrived with us 3-0 down to Wolves as usual
and the match already over. Cue mass exodus of London Clarets, which is why I’ll spend more time on the second half
than on the first, otherwise, nobody will know what happened!
Now Gazzaless, Burnley looked and played more like their old selves. The introduction of Moore I and Little G,
at the expense of Gareth, who apart from his disallowed goal was pretty anonymous, gave Burnley more width, and
completely transformed the game. Little maraudered around looking for defenders to skin, showed some of his old
trickery and was constantly involved, and Moore was an inspiration, foraging for scraps all over the place, hassling
defenders and trying the odd back heel, too. After two minutes he scored, making it 1-3. What happens to London Clarets
when this happens? Traipsing back to the Sparrow Hawk to drown their sorrows when an almighty roar goes up, do they go
back to the turnstile and attempt re-entry, or plod on towards the sanctity of the bottom of a pint glass?
Wolves were never in it after that. Jones must have been furious with them afterwards, because they came within
a whisker of throwing it all away. They’ll have to buck their ideas up if they’re to avoid an immediate return to the
Nationwide. Bally’s pile-driver moments after Moore’s opener unfortunately went straight at the keeper but kept the
pressure well on.
Now to the third defining moment of the game. Moore A makes on the face of it an innocuous-looking fight for the
ball with Halle and gets a red card. I say "on the face of it" because it looked at first like a badly
timed challenge which resulted in Halle going down in a heap. But, having studied the video-evidence, I reckon he
deserved to go, and might face a lengthy ban if the League looks more closely at the incident. Having fallen on top
of Halle, Alan then catches him badly in the face with his boot - a collision I reckon he could have avoided. Still,
blood was drawn and the ref produced red. The fact that he didn’t protest that much supports my theory - a moment of
madness, perhaps.
Now down to ten men, we would have been forgiven for thinking it was all over. But this line-up was having none
of it. Still fighting for every ball, we applied more pressure, resulting in ‘Bob Marley’ Johnson toe-poking the ball
past Oakes for Burnley’s second, setting up a frantic last ten minutes (including injury time). Indeed, with it being
Easter and all, David would have been forgiven for whipping out his guitar and giving us a rendition of ‘Redemption
Song’ for obvious reasons. Not quite on this occasion, though. Time ran out on us and Wolves ran out lucky winners in
the end. Inadvertently though, they might just have given us the jolt we need to get into the play-offs. Jesus had
three days to rise from the dead, we’ve only got two, but we’re already half way there!
