Raised hats to two of our
backroom staff, who find themselves beneficiaries of a minor shake-up on the coaching
side. Mick Docherty, previously reserve team manager, will henceforth be first team coach,
while Ronnie Jepson is promoted to fill his place as reserve team manager. It's been a
swift rise up the ranks for Jeppo, who only retired from playing at the end of last
season. There's a Huddersfield fan in London who always tells us that Jeppo would make a
brilliant manager, so who knows what may happen one of these days? He's certainly highly
regarded by Uncle Stan. That said, it appears coaching responsibilities are not rigidly
defined. Speaking exclusively to the website run by the company that employs him,
Uncle Stan revealed that everyone helps each other out and chips in, so that Jeppo will
still work with the kids too and Mick Doc with the reserves. Blimey, it's almost
socialist. [13/9]
Our breakfast was quite ruined
the other morning when the sleepy tones of former Burnley manager – allegedly – chris
waddle invaded our radio. What could this sad old yesterday’s man be
bothering us with now? It turns out waddle was peddling some late silly season story about
having so impressed in a testimonial for Marseille that they had asked him to play for
them properly. Yes, at his age! Surely this can’t be true? After all, he looked out
of the game when he turned out for Burnley, and that was four years ago. Since then, a
brief interlude at Torquay apart, it’s been strictly non league for the waddler,
while his phone has mysteriously been less than busy with offers to take up a second
managerial post. Could the emperor waddle really be about to take his smart new clothes to
the south of France? I suppose stranger things have happened. Other thoroughly discredited
rogues from that lamentable but mercifully brief era have beaten the odds to re-emerge.
For example, and proving that you can’t always keep a bad man down, Satan’s
little helper, AKA Glen Roeder-to-nowhere, has been temporarily rehabilitated, and for a
short time handed the keys to Nationwide League club in-the-making West Ham. After that,
whatever next? Lee Howey ever to play another League game in his career? Clearly,
anything’s possible. Alas for waddle, there seems to be little substance in the
story. Should we feign surprise? Marseille have been quick to deny that they have made any
contact with the 40-something year old Worksop player. Hey chris, just because they speak
French doesn’t mean they work for the club. Perhaps this was, after all, just another
delusion, on a par with the idea that Mark Fraud was a first division player. Interesting
also to note, in the various amused filler stories that this generated, further
confirmation that his time at Burnley has been purged from the CV. We don’t seem to
figure in his list of clubs. Perhaps the whole thing never happened then? But at least
chris’ occasional attempts to remind us that he used to be famous serve to make us
recall with horror what we once had – and leave us grateful for the professional and
competent manager we have now. Now please go away quietly, chris. Close the door after
you, there’s a good chap.
Elsewhere, Gareth Taylor
was again overlooked in another wretched night for Wales, as they blew a lead in losing
3-2 to Norway. Having remained an unused sub on Saturday, he didn’t feature at all
last night. Our Gareth must be a bit fed up of hanging around doing nothing, and will
doubtless be looking forward to getting back into the thick of things for Burnley. As for
Wales, clearly they’re not going to do anything unless they get a manager who knows
anything about football. Perhaps Uncle Stan could offer to do it on a part time basis?
Dimitri the Greek, meanwhile, played but didn’t score in Greece Under 21’s 3-0
win over Finland. His Deadwood date with destiny looms.
Former Claret Paul Smith
played for Colchester reserves while on trial (against Brentford reserves) the other
night. He still hasn't got himself fixed up with a club since being released in the
summer.
Finally, we’ve done our own small bit
with the Knighthood for Jimmy
campaign by alerting our friends the London Glens (www.londonglens.com) to the appeal. They will now
promote it amongst their members and encourage Glentoran fans to sign the petition.
That’s our good deed for the day done, then. [6/9]
As we all know by now, it is
generally best to work on the assumption that ‘Stan is always right’. Over the
years he’s proved doubters wrong time and again and provided ample evidence why
he’s a highly respected coach and manager and we’re not. Further proof of the
value of this maxim, if any were needed, was provided by Tony ‘Elvis’ Ellis last Sunday. We were quick to question (remember this?) Stan’s
wisdom in signing the ageing, much travelled, lower division striker, who has, of course,
just scored the winning goal away to a previously unbeaten side which sent us to the top
of the Football League.
Prompted by this, one of our occasional
correspondents, Lumberjack, has been in touch to offer this sincere apology. When we
snatched Elvis from under the noses of Telford, he asked:
"Can we be serious with the signing of
Ellis? I remember seeing him playing for the Pool and he was no great shakes then. We
needed an inspiration of a signing to enable us to push into those play-offs. And what
have we got so far?"
However, Lumberjack now writes:
"Mr T Ellis
Further to my recent e-mail to you about the
above signing, once again I am wrong, and Stan (the Master) Ternent is soooo right. (What
are we going to do when he retires?)
When am I going to learn to believe in him?
From now on my big mouth is well and truly
shut.
From someone who can just about remember going
on the Turf in the middle Sixties as a very small lad to see Man City, Utd, Everton etc,
this is a great day for me, and I hope all BFC supporters.
Yours humbly, terribly wrong about Stan’s
signings
Lumberjack
PS – Stan is always right"
I find this a truly heart-warming moment. [5/9]
And the Nationwide League Division One Manager
of the Month for August is, err, Lennie Lawrence of Grimsby. Surprised? Well, no.
We're pretty much used to this by now, aren't we? Uncle Stan will probably have to win the
European Cup - twice - just to get noticed. Not that I have anything against Lennie
Lawrence, you understand. After all, he's got an unfancied time off to a flying start. Um,
hang on...
Ah well, we shall have to go on being a stealth team. [4/9]
The weekend's big football news is, obviously, that
Burnley are top of the first division with
twelve points from five games, after getting our third away win of the season - already -
at Bradford. Amazing to think that it's not too long since four away wins a season was the
norm. This is our highest position since, ooh, the last highest position, and the highest
in my time as a supporter. Of course, there's only one way we can get any higher than
this. And at least from a sensible avoiding relegation point of view, it looks pretty rosy
at the moment. Just think, when you turn up at Turf Moor next week, you'll be going to see
the best side in the league. I would normally say they'll have to start taking notice of
us know, except of course this is Burnley and everyone ignores us. Can you imagine the
fuss if Preston had made this kind of start?
Hats off in particular to the BBC's ailing Grandstand
programme, which took such care the day before to point out that 'Bradford will go top if
they beat Burnley tomorrow'.
And say what you will, we always did rate Tony Ellis...
Elsewhere, there can be little doubt that the big international game of
the weekend was, of course, Wales' match against Armenia. Sadly, our own Gareth Taylor did not feature, being limited to
sub not used. Perhaps a run out might have made a difference to the dismal 0-0 scoreline.
But then, we can't expect their manager to know much about football. [3/9]
